Oh yeah, I know that title got your attention.
I believe I have written about sex before and so I apologize in advance but given the.... er, FUN subject matter, I didn't think any of you would mind.
You know, the one thing I've give to coupled and married people is that at least you've got that built in, sort of mandatory companionship. I've not been a huge fan of relationships since... well, since I was about 23 (5 years ago), but I get that about it.
I have a point, by the way, and it's relevant - just stick with me.
So once I was thin and it wasn't like I was raging sex-a-holic in those days. And by the way, when I say thin, I am referring to a size 12 which in my eyes now is thin but was porky then. And so I find now that I am heavier, I crave comfort more. It is, I'm sure, because I am less secure in myself at this weight, and so you do the math. I miss cuddling and I miss hugs and, by God, I miss SEX.
Yeah, it's been a little while. Not the longest I've ever waited by far but it's been enough time that I am starting to miss it.
But how to get it...
You know how they (who the hell are "they?" Those assholes) -- you know how they say girls can always get it when they want it? I don't agree. Do you think some guy sees me from across a crowded bar and plans to get in my pants? Do you think a group of buddies scope me out and make bets with themselves? Let's not kid ourselves. I'm last resort girl. I'm "hot chicks 1-10 went home with their boyfriends so what's left" girl.
Pause here. Before all my friends start giving me the "stop being so hard on yourself" lecture just don't. A little realism never hurt anyone. And I'm trying to hilarious while I'm being real so maybe I can make us both laugh!
So yeah, I miss sex.
And more than that, like I said, the cuddles and the hugs. That sensation that runs up your very core when someone comes up behind you and slides his arms around your waist and nuzzles into your neck... you know what I mean.
But when you're a "fat girl" it's like these things are impossible to attain. And all I want is for someone to just see ME. Cause I think, fat, thin or regular sized, I'm a catch, dammit!
In the meantime, I have a little furball of love curled up in my lap and he loves me no matter what! Isn't that sweet and wonderful? And lucky.