Perhaps you can recall some of my more hilarious online dating woes. I mean, when I think about the parade of total lunatics I've encountered -- Goldfish Josh, the IHOP Cop, Mr. "I'm not gay, I swear," The Babymaker and "Extra Butter" Guy, among others -- it's a wonder I've not yet converted and joined up with a conclave of nuns.
I'm on board with their outfits. I dig black minimalist fashion.
In any case, Tuesday night's Social Media Club LA panel focusing on online dating and social media was of particular interest to me. Actually, I was sorta skeptical at first. I don't know... social media and online dating? How is that relevant exactly? And I'm dating someone, so did I need to be at this panel?
Regardless, I missed some faces and I went. And I was glad. It was a great panel. And you know I'd be the first one to say if it wasn't. You guys, it was great. Because as it turns out, about 99% of the rules you should apply to online dating strategy can be applied to social media... and LIFE. No joke. Check this out...
And here were the key takeaways for me:
- Originally, Scott Lewallen and his co-founder scribbled the idea for creating Grindr on a napkin. I do shit like this all the time so I can only conclude the million-dollar idea is out there... Point is, though, you never know!
- Be authentic, genuine and find a unique voice. About online dating or life? I think both.
- "People love instant gratification, but community building in social media takes time," said Julie Spira. Good things come to those who wait! Lord knows I love instant gratification.
- "Put your best foot forward in online dating, just like when you go to a cocktail party. Cultivate those relationships," said Scott. Look good, feel good, know your shit, right? The panel went on to talk about nourishing your relationships. I think there was a garden metaphor.
- Is an emotional approach better than a statistical one? I think anything is better when there's some passion behind it. Connecting is what it's all about, right? Ask a successful career gal like me if she ever got anyhere without passion...
- Proofread, be timely and relevant, put out quality information. Well.... YEAH. (Says the girl who always has to proofread her blogs 85 timses.)
- Get back to people. Which is one of my pet peeves. We're human beings. We love closure.
- Cut the bullshit. Know your goal. Eyes on the horizon. (Maybe athletes pool their motives from online dating, too?)
- Don't burn bridges. Be kind. I think I say this to the teens I volunteer with once a month. ALWAYS try to be kind to others. I always liked it put like this - and I'm paraphrasing: You never know if the face you punch today will be connected to the ass you have to kiss tomorrow.
- Don't stalk. (I'm going to ignore this advice. Just owning that right now.)
- Get input from trusted sources. (Hence I seldom go shopping alone.)
- Know yourself. Find your voice. Know who you are. You gain nothing by lying to yourself, right?
Again, I say: GREAT event. Thoroughly enjoyed. And while I wish there'd been a bigger turnout, I kinda feel like the vibe of the room was born out of intimacy anyway -- it was all for the best. And hopefully people will read this entry and kick their own asses for not coming. I mean, we talked about REVENGE PORN, guys. You totally missed out.