Steps up to mic, takes a swig of vodka...
This thing on?
Yesterday, Melissa Dell sent me this article (not because she supported it -- because she knew I'd appreciate how completely insane it is). And while I hate to give this woman any site traffic by linking to it, I'd hate even more to copy and paste the entire diatribe because it turns my stomach.
That said, I'll quote you some of it in case you want to spare your precious eyes from its offensiveness.
"The gay agenda to normalize homosexuality is woven into Disney's movie Frozen not just as an underlying message - it is the movie. In a liberal culture tenacious at normalizing immorality, stripping those of faith from their ability to speak out in opposition, this needs to be taken seriously..."
Right away I'm turned off because she's clearly using big words in effort to sound deep or more knowledgeable so let's put her ridiculous conspiracy theory aside for a second and just address right up front that she's a terrible writer.
"However, as light and dark, or fear and faith cannot exist in the same space, good and evil do, here in mortality. Therefore, we must be wise - especially parents. When good is used to advance evil, we must reject it and state why, if we desire to be light."
I'm sorry, what? I don't know about you guys but I have fears and faith, hope and worry, good and evil... I mean, these things all exist in one place. Isn't that the very essence of humanity? And if good is used to advance evil... is it still good? In other words, WHAT THE HELL IS SHE TALKING ABOUT?!
"If you feel you've been duped by the surface story of the movie Frozen, try not to feel too bad..."
"The way in which Frozen wraps up the false doctrine perpetuated throughout the film, is as skillfully done as I have ever seen it, which makes calling it out and not being labeled crazy difficult..."
Yeah, those crafty little homos at Disney, man. They sure know how to weave the gay agenda into an animated feature. She goes onto say how she's also seen Frozen three times. Not because she wanted to, though. Because she promised three sets of grandchildren she would take them to see it. I don't even know how she's even living with herself now that she has all these gay grandchildren.
"Let me be very clear about one thing, I am not anti-gay nor am I here to judge homosexuals not worthy of their rightful and respectful place among society."
No, no, of course not.
She goes on to summarize the movie (so, you know, SPOILER ALERT!) and point out every moment that is laden with this supposed homosexual/ liberal media agenda (I swear Sarah Palin's ghost wrote some of her post). For example, when Queen Elsa rejects Anna's desire to marry Prince Hans, it is totally because heterosexuals do not value the sanctity of traditional marriage, not because, as she says in the movie, Anna just met Hans about four hours prior.
As the sisters begin to argue and their discussion comes to its boiling point, Elsa lashes out, unable to conceal her power anymore, causing her to panic and flea from the palace. The blogger points out that this is a clear symbol of a woman with a homosexual agenda trapped and constrained by the power she has, her homosexuality, considering herself "frozen" in her forced hetero life.
Well, you know what happens next. She sings "Let it go," the biggest gayest coming out song ever.
Or, you know, maybe it's just a song about overcoming fear and trying to find yourself - whatever kind of person you are, straight, gay, liberal or conservative.
And here is what it all boils down to, you guys. Disney's Frozen is loosely based on a Hans Christian Anderson fairy tale called "The Snow Queen" that was written in 1845. It is the story of a little boy and a little girl who encounter a powerful snow queen. It's a classic "good versus evil" story written by a guy who was born in 1805 and, I'm pretty sure, didn't even know what a "gay agenda" was or is. Of course, the story was obviously altered and adapted for this film. And while I can't say for certain why, my guess is that it has nothing to do with a secret, liberal gay agenda. It has to do with the fact that Disney is a money-making-machine and little girls like to buy frilly dresses, plastic tiaras and imagine their best friend is a hilarious talking snowman. And that women my age still dream about meeting Mr. Right, getting along with their family and friends, signing like Idina Menzel... and that their best friend is a hilarious talking snowman.
So in closing, my advice to this blogger is... LET IT GO.
Crap. I totally wanna go make out with a girl now.
If anyone needs me, I'll be watching The Lion King. Or, as I now call it, Pumba and Timon: Gay in the Jungle. If anyone wants to join me later, I'll follow with a screening that lesbian flick Mulan, with a lovely charcuterie for sharesies.