In the endless struggle of my friend Danielle having BRILLIANT ideas and me wanting nothing to do with them, I bring you the latest "Eff you! I'm a GENIUS."
I will say, Danielle is always trying to make me braver than I am. So I guess she gets credit for that. The problem is, Danielle wants to do things like WALK ACROSS THE GRAND CANYON ON A GLASS WALKWAY.
And I'm like "Ain't nobody got time for that."
Other things I do not have time for. (Translation: I'm a giant wimp.)
The Twilight Zone Tower of Terror at Disney California Adventure. Theme park rides that involve any kind of plummeting do not interest me. Why is this fun? I'll never understand you death-seeking crazypants types.
Wear sports shirts and go to bars so that guys will talk to us. No way. This seems like an ill-fated strategy. However I have negotiated down. Danielle will wear a shirt that says "I'm with slut" and I will stand next to her. Frankly, I think that will get us more attention than sports tees.
The one thing I absolutely will do? BUBBLE FOOTBALL.
Oh yes. This exists. Watch this and tell me it doesn't make you giggle. I want it.
And good news for us all, I found the site where you can buy the bubbles. What's it actually called?
FUNBALLZ. There are all inds of sports-related bubble shapes and it's all the rage in Europe. Coca-Cola is a sponsor.
You're welcome, America.