Last night, I couldn't help but think of "The Mustard Incident" as I flat out LAUGHED AT MYSELF.
I was on my way home from a late meeting and realized it was nearing 8 PM and I'd not had dinner yet. I had zero desire to cook (this is usually the case) and felt like some good, comforting soup would be the perfect, easy meal because I suspected I'd be in bed not long after (this did not turn out to be the case because I ultimately had to do some more work).
I stopped at my local supermarket for a container of "to go" soup. There wasn't a lot left but I settled on tomato, which is always a go-to for comfort food, right? I grabbed that and some Triscuits, which would have been it, but at the self check-out area, there was a display of all the Coca-Cola products that now come in those little aluminum bottles. I thought back to a couple weekends ago when I felt a little nauseous and wished I'd had some Sprite in the house -- so I grabbed a couple aluminum bottles of Sprite.
The drive home from the market is very short and again, I was very tired. I put my grocery bag up front with me, on the passenger seat, held tight by my heavy purse next to it.
When I got home and unloaded my bag, I was upset to see a small puddle of tomato soup on my passenger seat. I lifted my reusable grocery bag over my head (you know, so the soup could drip onto my face - I was HANGRY) but couldn't even figure out where the leak was coming from.
Then sank in my utter anger and I'm not gonna lie - I burst into tears. I love my car and I take pretty good care of it so this just devastated me. Compounded by tiredness and what not, I just cried.
I went to my trunk to see if I had a towel or something - I did not. I thought about the kleenex in my purse -- useless for this. It would soak up nothing. BUT WAIT! I had it. An emergency maxi pad I threw in the glove box like three months ago and forgot about. I mean... they're absorbent, right? If nothing else, it's what they're for, right?
On top of which, I realized I had the Sprite! Which is totally like seltzer. And that removes stains... I'm such a genius. My car would be clean in a jiffy.
So.... enter one of my neighbors, walking up from their own car, and there I am. Purse and groceries on the ground, me bent over into the car, using a dab of Sprite and giving my front seat a gentle pat down with a maxi pad. Frankly, I'm surprised she only paused for a moment and kept going. I would have instagrammed a photo.
You can laugh, but when I got into my car this morning, nary a stain could be seen.
I AM JUST LIKE MARTHA STEWART.