Hey there.... dude.
Yeah. About that, DUDE. I apologize but I don't know your name. Remember that time I tried to walk up to you in the hall but you went right past me? I was going to ask your name then but I'm sure you just had somewhere to be. No worries. There was also that time I said "Hi, you know...." which was going to to turn into "we haven't been introduced yet!" but you kept walking then, too. I get it, you are obviously very busy and important. (Even though I don't know very many busy and important men over 30 who wear Green Hornet tees and cargo shorts with holes in them. But hey, you gotta go with what works for you.)
In any case, my man, I just wanted to say thanks for keeping me up last night. I mean, I had been out all day with friends and was pretty tired. You know, sometimes on Sunday nights I can be pretty lazy, but thanks to you, I was forced to stay up pretty late and watch TV and get work done! YES! Going to bed early or on time is overrated anyway, right? I certainly wouldn't want to get get in the way of your need to build furniture at 11:00 at night. Not at all. I can't think of a better time to do it anyway. It wasn't that bad when you started hammering and the way my wall vibrated when you used the power drill was practically therapeutic, so KUDOS, guy. Well done. I'm sure whatever IKEA purchase you made looks GREAT paired with the video game chair Amazon delivered last week. (You remember, it sat out in the hall for a couple days before you dragged it inside.)
It's really terrific you like video games. Since I don't own a console, at the volume you play Guitar Hero in the evenings, I really get to feel like I do own an XBOX every now and then and it really saves me from feeling left out on life. It's a good thing you like that one heavy metal song so much - it's allowed me to really memorize the GOOD AND LOUD parts super well.
Also? That time I passed you in the hall when I was carrying my heavy laundry basket and said "so sorry, excuse me," but you didn't let me by? Totally forgiven. I mean, no biggie. So what if we were both heading to our neighboring apartments and you took the long way around to avoid me? I appreciate that sometimes a guy just wants a little solitude over the pressures of being chivalrous.
Don't worry, a lot of the other neighbors have told me you're a loner and a little weird and someone even had the audacity to tell me about this one time when you left your wet laundry in three washing machines overnight leaving the laundry room to smell a little moldy, but I don't pay that much attention to gossip. Even when the sweet old lady down the hall with the hip problem told me about the time you wouldn't help her bring a heavy package into her apartment so she gave up trying to get to know you -- well, I just told her I wouldn't pass judgement until I got to know you. Which may be never but whatevs, right?
Anyway, just wanted to say "hey" and wish you the best. I look forward to the next time you burn something and wake me with the fire alarm at 2 AM. It's always good to practice what I'll do in an emergency.