CONFESSIONS OF A FAT GIRL

It happened. I did. I Got Lei'd.

Well first of all, my hugest apologies. I actually drafted this post over a week ago and then saved it as a draft instead of publishing it. 

Remember #GetLeid?

Well I did. I got leid. And it was glorious.

I came home from work recently to this amazingness:

Behold, the Leis:

I must say - right away my apartment filled with their lovely scent. They were so deliciously fragrant. Imagine being shipped all the way from Hawaii and still being that lovely? I was so surprised. They are packed with ice and lots of protection so they are perfectly in tact upon arrival. Really, really nice. 

PLUS, in addition to sending leis, they sent.... nuts.

Yummy. 

I really have to thank Aloha Island Lei for the beuaitful surprise. And for inspiring the entire #GetLeid Twitter movement I've so enjoyed laughing over with the SoCal Lady Bloggers. Please be sure to check them out. 

Visit their Website

Like them on Facebook

Follow them on Twitter and Instagram

 

Odds and Ends - Blogger Catchup Time

I have all these funny little anecdotes that I've been banking in the annals of my mind that I figured I'd purge all over you nice people.

I really love hockey --  it's the most loved sport in my family -- but this year, even more so than last year when my team won the cup, I got REALLY obsessed. It may have something to do with my current job, which gives me more access to the team, but there's been a lot of yelling at the television in my home this post season. I'm not saying that as a bad thing. I'm just sharing. I think I am best left alone when I watch games, is the point. (When the Kings got ousted from the post-season, I actually teared up. But the wine probably didn't help.)

Last week, I got recognized at the supermarket. I was at Gelson's, partaking in their lovely salad bar, and a girl about my age and size was staring at me. I noticed her quickly because I liked her cardigan. I bumped into her in two more aisles before I finally just said "I'm sorry, do we know each other?" She replied "I think I read your blog." I thanked her profusely and told her I liked her sweater and still feel slightly like and asshole that I didn't even get her name. So if you are reading this, black and white sweater girl from Gelson's, I love you; you made my month. Please leave a comment below so I can worship you further.

I'm still struggling to relax. I'm reading lots of articles called things like "how to say no to people" and it's not helping. I just can't do it. What I can seem to do is cancel plans. Which is probably starting to make me an asshole. The problem is (or maybe it's not a problem), I am too tired to worry about being an asshole. There's got to be an easier way... 

Consequently, I've been battling major insomina. At night, I'm up late because I cannot shut my brain off. And my body does this thing now where I wake up every morning around 5:40 to pee. 

Also, and possibly as consequence, I've had a headache off and on for about three weeks now. I should probably stop mentioning it at work. Or at all. People always instinctively ask "have you taken something" and I always wanna reply "NO. I've had a headache for three weeks but am enjoying it so much, I've done nothing to try and cure it." It's rooted in the left side of my sinus cavity and shoots up into my head, ear and down through my jaw at will. It is horrible. It is probably further proof I should have sinus surgery but that's going to stay one of those things I bitch about and never fix like my right ankle. 

I've re-signed up for online dating. Trying this again. So far, it's been a succession of offensive and/or sleezy pick-up lines and akward situations. The winner so far is Tinder, who paired me with a former youth group teen, who is now 21. I basically wanted to die. Runner up to the COUPLE who hit on me via OK Cupid. They BOTH wanted to put their hands all over me so kind of a win, I guess. 

P.S. Just now noticing I way overused the word "asshole" in this post. And not caring. Guess what that probably makes me....?

 P.P.S. NEVER EVER Google-image-search "asshole." OMG, I'm never going to recover... 

So Much Tired

I am - in every way possible; mentally, physically, emotionall - exhausted. 

I don't think I've ever been too tired to eat before. Perhaps the best way for me to drop some weight would be a regiment of sleep deprivation.

More later. Promise!

Twitchy Lady Needs a Project

When I have moments of boredom, I create new projects for myself.

As such, I'm creating a new website. I am sure some of you have seen it because I've sent it around here and there but if not, don't worry, I'll show you soon.

And consequently, I need to reinvent my business cards. I mean, I'm already carrying around one for the blog and one for the "real life" job, but what I think I'd like ultiamtely is one card identifying me as all things. 

My SCLB cohorts referred me to Minted.com and the one thing I can say for certain is WOW. They have AWESOME choices. And it takes a lot of pressure off of me cause I always try to make something from scratch and it's never as clever as what I'm looking at here. 

I just love their aesthetic.

The one thing I cannot say for certain is which design I want to get specifically so I turn to you, fair and balanced people, to voice your opinion below. Here are the ones I've narrowed it down to -- let me know what you think! 

#1

#2

#3

I think I'm leaning toward #1...

P.S. They have a sample business card for Robert Paulson and if you don't understand why that is brilliant, click here. :)

P.P.S. They have a business card with a clown on it, y'all. Not ok.

In the interest of full disclosure, Minted has come on board to work with the SoCal Lady Bloggers and in exchange for this post, they are generously giving me some cards, gratis. They're timing was perfect -- I could not pass up the opportunity! 

Quote of the Day: A Gentleman's Wife?

For my birthday, a friend posted this GEM on my Facebook wall. I have NO IDEA how I've gone 34 years and am only hearing this now for the first time. We are failing at life, people. This is SO much better than Boston's "Amanda" and Barry Manilow's "Mandy," right?!