I have to say, up front, that for the most part, I have very supportive parents. I am very lucky that way. And frankly, most parents would have given up by now. I mean, I've done counseling and nutritionists (yes, plural as in I have tried them more than once), Lindora (twice), Weight Watchers (countless times), Fen Phen, diet pills... My weight problem is not new. I've battled it all my life.
So that's how I know that when my mother opens her big mouth and says something painfully awful, it comes from a place of meaning well. But it doesn't ever reduce the sting.
On Friday, I asked my boss for a promotion. Long story short, she had a very curt, formal, non-expressive response and it sent me into a spiral of confusion. When my mom asked me how the meet went, I told her what had happened and my mom, as she does, tried to figure out why it ended the way it did. Whereas my father comes at things like this from a business perspective, my mom comes at a little more like.... well, a woman. LOL.
"Has she ever expressed a dissatisfaction with your appearance or weight? Maybe that's why she wasn't interested?"
To which, without thinking, I spat out "fuck you."
Now, I would never EVER tell my mom to fuck off but God that hurt. I immediately just reacted as if she was some person, and not my mother. But I then broke down crying and yelled at her how hurtful it is when she says such things and how I know plenty of mothers that would just take my side and not judge me and tell me how great I am and that I deserve to be promoted, and so on. She apologized but only after I told her to but then she also started to cry because (I assume) she felt so bad she'd hurt me so deeply. Then she went into the "you know how much I love you" bit and I just suggested we forget that the conversation even happened so that I could get over it and would not have to lord it over her forever and ever.
Mothers and daughters. Complicating lives since the dawn of man.
