I have to thank you, readers. Some of you left the most amazing comments or sent some super flattering e-mails. I am amazed when I get feedback like that. Clearly, I am a lucky blogger.
The truth is, my self esteem is in the toilet. I mean, let's not kid ourselves, we all have our issues, but I feel like in the last few months, I've allowed myself to sink lower and lower... I was asked out on a date and it sent me into total panic. When I woke up today, I was unable to face the world and promptly went right back to sleep. I was sick to my stomach and being totally unreasonable. I totally admit this. I was curled up on the couch all afternoon, watching Golden Girls reruns and eating leftovers.
And when I finally had to get ready, I had to force myself. I had shaky legs all the way there and up the escalator from the parking lot. But when I saw him, and he handed me a rose (A rose!), I felt a little better. And then when he held the door open for me and places his hand on the small of my back, I felt a little better... when dinner ended and he was still sitting there, I felt relief.
And during the movie, when he slid his arm around my waist, and then later held my hand, better still.
It was a tremendous evening. All the worrying for nothing, I guess. Not that it ever goes away completely... I like him very much already and am giving myself permission to feel optimistic. He's already asked me out again...
On the way home, my iPod was on random and this song came on called "I'm Not Afraid of Anything." I have to admit to you I actually shouted the lyrics, beaming, and by the time the song ended, I was crying with happiness. It was a great feeling. God, I cannot remember the last time I cried because I was HAPPY.
The truth is, my self esteem is in the toilet. I mean, let's not kid ourselves, we all have our issues, but I feel like in the last few months, I've allowed myself to sink lower and lower... I was asked out on a date and it sent me into total panic. When I woke up today, I was unable to face the world and promptly went right back to sleep. I was sick to my stomach and being totally unreasonable. I totally admit this. I was curled up on the couch all afternoon, watching Golden Girls reruns and eating leftovers.
And when I finally had to get ready, I had to force myself. I had shaky legs all the way there and up the escalator from the parking lot. But when I saw him, and he handed me a rose (A rose!), I felt a little better. And then when he held the door open for me and places his hand on the small of my back, I felt a little better... when dinner ended and he was still sitting there, I felt relief.
And during the movie, when he slid his arm around my waist, and then later held my hand, better still.
It was a tremendous evening. All the worrying for nothing, I guess. Not that it ever goes away completely... I like him very much already and am giving myself permission to feel optimistic. He's already asked me out again...
On the way home, my iPod was on random and this song came on called "I'm Not Afraid of Anything." I have to admit to you I actually shouted the lyrics, beaming, and by the time the song ended, I was crying with happiness. It was a great feeling. God, I cannot remember the last time I cried because I was HAPPY.
