CONFESSIONS OF A FAT GIRL

Quote of the Day

 

Mom: It's your birthday, it's not a national holiday. 

Me: Um, yes it is. In my world it is TOTALLY a national holiday. 

 

(It's on May 8th, people! Mark it down. I've decided to be totally obnoxious about it this year.)

 

The Saturday SoCal Social

 

The loveliest saturday night. Read on!

On Saturday, whilst my head was offering me a bit of a reprieve, I ventured out to the very far-away (15 minutes) and exotic (not at all) venue of Burbank's own Olive's Bistro.

I always, always love to attend Blogger events but have especially come to love events with my fellow SoCal Lady Bloggers (over 150 members strong now!). This is a terriffic group of diverse women with a universally strong voice and big hearts. 

If you are a SoCal lady blogger yourself and have an interest in joining, I totally endorse it. It will benefit your blog and your soul to be in contact with this lovely group. 

Of course, I must thank the venue and its excellent staff (Dennis the bartender; Luke the adorable server and Dave Grohl look-alike, my new best friend) as well as the sponsors, Whitney Howard Designs and Pauline's Handmade Brittle. 

While I'm at it, you must click here to see the beautiful necklace Whitney bestowed upon each of us (the word "inspire" is engraved on it). A lover of keys personally (if you know me, you know I love, love, love my Tiffany key), I was especially excited to unwrap it and can't wait to wear it! 

Here are some more pics from Saturday's event and links so that you can visit my new, lovely colleagues. And especially Sidney of "My Mother in Law is Still Sitting Between Us" and Carolyn of "This Talk Ain't Cheap," who put this great night together. 

 

 

We addressed the essentials first.

 

Our lovely gift from Whitney Howard Designs

 

From left to right: Ken and Ariel, Writing in Flow, Gaming Angels, What I Run Into, and IEShineOn

Little Bit Quirky, Miz Meliz, Me, My Mother in Law is Still Sitting Between Us, The Not-So-Secret Life of a Super Mama

This Talk Ain't Cheap, Minnesota Girl in LA, Along Comes Mary, Field Trip Mom, and Horsing Around in LA

Group photos courtesy of Chris @ What I Run Into

 

Ladies, it was a pleasure spending the evening with you. Looking forward to our next meet-up! 

From HBO: The Weight of the Nation

 

Why Tables Are Dangerous

Did I mention I am suffering from a minor concussion? Let me explain.

One of my new favorite things to do is pack up my laptop, ipad, etc. and hit the local Starbucks for a few hours. It's not that I can't write at home (I am now, in fact), but I feel more committed there - go figure. I've always done better with writing partners. 

Last Sunday, I was leaning down to plug my laptop in and I guess I hadn't pushed the table out far enough... As I bent over, my head crashed right into the edge of the table.

Tables are tricky, man. You have to watch them EVERY. SECOND. 

A week later, I am still feeling a little fuzzy, battling periodic headaches and/or dizzy spells. It's the most ridiculous thing... And every time I think I am getting better, I am reminded by how wrong I am with an attack of "owwwwwwwwwwwwwww." This morning, I could barely sit up in bed. 

Super fun times. 

Last night, my friend has a run in with a very aggressive group of potted plants. They came after her car. Horrible. 

Do you SEE what is HAPPENING people? The objects are FIGHTING BACK! This is awful. 

It really leaves me no choice. We must put the tables in a locked room with the plants. They are to blame. They must duke it out. 

What the Stars Say

I get a daily newsletter from the Kabbalah Center, where I used to take classes, and often times I ignore them, to be honest. But I found this one to be pretty interesting. Mostly because some of it is so dead on. If you know me, you may find this somewhat amusing:

TRAITS OF TAURUS

Assets of Taurus:

Loyal, consistent, patient, tolerant, dislikes conflict, friendly, non-judgmental

Main motivation:

“Don’t push – leave me alone.”

Negatives (and how to transform them):

Avoids changes involving self
Visualize negative consequences of not changing. Ask the Light to help create pressure to change within.

Stubborn, fixed, afraid of the pain of change
Look for opportunities to change. Move away from set ways and listen to others more.

Runs away from pressure
Welcome the pressure. Great Light manifests through great stress.

Own comfort comes first
Real comfort comes from being willing to be uncomfortable. Ask the Light for the strength to see the Light within the challenge.

Too involved in self-image
Stop indulging yourself. Get busy sharing. Don’t take your time on earth for granted.

Doesn’t like to make waves
Confront issues when they arise. Restrict the desire to flee from confrontation.

Believes everything is fine, even when it’s not
Everything is fine only when you’re working on transforming yourself.

Attached to home and familiar surroundings
Each change in living situation or job is a new incarnation, so welcome in the new.

How to improve relationships with a Taurus:

• Show love, affection, and empathy
• Don’t push right away
• Refer to the consequences of not changing
• Keep the pressure on them
• Help them to discover the illusionary comfort of physicality
• Encourage and support change

 

When We Eat Matters

Ok, I am blogging about this. Shame on you, @UrbanOutfitters.

When I saw this link posted to a friend's Facebook page the other day, he was chastizing the "Holocaust Chic" look of this overpriced tee at Urban Outfitters. I will not provide you with links as I will not honor their business with any click-throughs. Eff them. 

This shirt is APPAULINGLY offensive to me:

Perhaps you are not picking up the reference. Lemme break it down for you.

During the Holocaust, Jews were ordered by the Nazis to sew this patch and ones like it onto their outer garments in order to mark them as Jews in public.

Last week, we had Holocaust Remembrance Day. It was fresh on my mind when I saw the link on my friend's page. Horrendous. 

For $100, you too can look like a bullied, religious pariah who lost six million members of their faith in a horrible, despicable world war. 

And today, this:

I suppose that's better however now there is just an ugly yellow tee priced at $100. 

More on this topic from other sources:

http://www.timesofisrael.com/urban-outfitters-tee-offers-auschwitz-chic/

http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2012/04/23/anti-defamation-league-slams-urban-outfitters-over-shirt-featuring-perceived/

And on the solution (of which I'm too cynical to even consider it as truthful): 

http://www.philly.com/philly/business/20120423_Urban_Outfitters_removes_controversial_T-shirt_image_from_site.html?cmpid=138890509

 

The manufacturer of this tee, Wood Wood, is a Danish company. Think the Danish weren't affected by the Holocaust? You would be quite wrong. 

Shame on you, Urban Outfitters. That shirt should not have been up there a day, an hour, a minute. It was up there for far longer than that before someone finally took the hint. Shame on you.

"What are you doing?"

I was thinking about how busy the past few weeks have been and was reminded of this improv game we used to play in high school called "What are you doing?" in which you perform and action and the opponent asks, well, "What are you doing?" You respond by saying you're doing something OTHER than what you are acting out.

For example, if I am pretending to mow the lawn, I might say I am sewing a dress. 

You keep this up, switching off, and it's a hilarious good time. It's rather chaotic, in fact. Which, I suppose, when recounting the past couple of weeks, I thought of it. 

I try very hard on this blog to NOT recount my life as a play-by-play. I don't think it's interesting to tune into a blog and read "And THEN I went to the store. After THAT, I went out for a drink with Scott. The next day, Sarah and I went shopping..." Of course, as a result, I guess you don't really know what I am up to these days. 

I went to a screening of The Princess Bride and it was magical. I love that movie. To celebrate their anniversary, one of our local theater's was showing it on the big screen and I've never seen it that way before. It's just one of those movies that never gets old. And following, we had a surprise appearance from Cary Elwes, who was charming and affable and happy to answer questions from the audience. 

I joined the SoCal Lady Bloggers network I am proudly part of to go see The Bloggess read from her new book and dialogue with Punky Brewster herself, Soleil Moon Frye. The Bloggess, Jenny Lawson, was quirky and hilarious and my only regret is that Beyonce the big metal chicken was not there to greet us. 

Tomorrow night, a friend and I are going to take our first fencing lesson. Because I'm deranged. And we need to prepare for the inevitable zombie apocalypse. At least, that's what my friend says. I was very excited to start up the new hobby, ticking another one off the ol' "33 in 2012" list but as it now nears, I am really nervous about it for some reason. 

I'm exhausted thinking about all I've done this month and everything ahead. I am too, too busy. I know this is a terrible complaint to make. I realize how lucky I am to be active and have so many amazing friends. And I am glad that most of them understand my schedule has become impossible... I know it's horrendous to complain about having such a fun life. I guess my complaint is really about myself -- which is that at almost 33, I still don't know how to really relax or how to say no. I'm still always afraid to miss out on something or to be left out. 

{sigh} There's a hashtag in this, my fair readers. #FirstWorldProblems, right? Maybe #GrassIsAlwaysGreener... I'll work on it. 

I guess it could be worse. I could be Jessica Simpson. Whom I'm pretty sure has been pregnant for 14 months now. She is going to give birth to a three year old. Seriously, click on her name there and read the story. Look at the picture. Homegirl is packing a football team in there. It's insane. I'm obsessed with it.

I will depart for now by introducting you to Legally Delish, who is really named Erin, a blogger I met at aforementioned Bloggess event. She lovably has her own big metal chicken named Ben Affleck. You should read about it because it's almost as hysterical as Jenny's adoption of Beyonce. (And if this is all gibberish to you, you should read BOTH entries because it is just side-splitting, pee-in-your-pants HIGH-larious comedy, people.)