CONFESSIONS OF A FAT GIRL

@socalblogger 4th of July Potluck!

Welcome to the SoCalLadyBloggers Fourth of July Potluck Online Bash! Or, at least, my end of it. I love this idea. It's a party I can go to whilst I remain on my couch in lazy-wear, watching bad movies. I am having a supremely lazy day. My previous roommate officially moved out this morning and my new roommate moved in. It happened pretty much simultaneously, all morning and afternoon, and it was not without drama. Thus, the subsequent laziness. This day has exahusted me and all I wanna do is eat garbage and drink Sunkist orange soda. However as I am far too lethargic to do either of those things, I have ordered food to be delivered (currently pondering how to retrieve it from the delivery man without getting up and going to the door - it does not look good for me here) and am watching movies with commercials (I own like 200 DVDs and Blu-rays, people). 

Did I ramble a bit there? Yes, I think I did. 

So here is MY contribution to the brilliant online potluck party. Which I am outright stealing from my best friend. She made this for me once and it was all that is good in life, liquified in a bowl.

 

BEER CHEESE SOUP

Ingredients:

• 1 stick butter
• 1 medium onion
• 1/2 cup flour
• 4 cups chicken broth
• 12 oz beer
• 1 1/2 cups shredded cheese (sharp cheddar is best)
• mustard powder (mustard would probably work, too)

Instructions: 

- Dice onion, melt butter, saute onions until translucent (2-3 minutes)

- Add 1/2 cup flour in stages to make a roue (don't get scared about the texture here), cook flour for 2-3 minutes.

- Add chicken broth whisking in a little at a time and then the beer

- Whisk in cheese a little at a time until melted, then add a couple of pinches of mustard powder

- Bring to a boil, reduce heat

- Cook a few more minutes and serve immediately.  Go back for seconds!

Other items to consider adding as tried by myself or others I have given this recipe to: Croutons, bacon, chives, potato chunks, bread chunks, serve in bread bowl or - no joke - popcorn. 

Happy Fourth of July!!! 

Like I said: POPCORN. Try it.

So Much Epicness on the Web Today!

I saw a lot of good stuff online today, people. I had to share.

First, there was this:

Yeah, I may have to try that.

But then I saw this:

 

 

And if that wasn't enough, I also watched this:

And if your sides don't hurt from laughing so much just yet, read this article (I'm super excited to see Magic Mike on Friday).

And if you've been following all the Ted social media, you'll get a kick out of this:

 

Enough? Good. Now go pee.

 

An Exclusive for COFG Readers

You may recall my recent post about the Hicural.

Yes, it still lives in my purse. Yes, I've continued to use it. 

 

Well, so obsessed was I that I have procured a discount code for you should you wish to buy one. It's 50% off! Check it out here and enter the code confessionsofafatgirl to get $4 off the $7.99 retail price.

 

You gotta trust me, friends. It's a handy gadget. 

 

Quote of the Day

White Collar's Matthew Bomer. I love him so.

Roommate Inquiries: The Greatest Hits

If you happen to be friends with me on Facebook or follow me on Twitter, you'd surely know by now that I've been looking for a new roommate. 

This is a process I am rather familiar with, having been in my apartment for over nine years and having lived with five roommates here so far. (Although one of them only lasted for 13 days because he decided he wanted to move hom to Northern California -- but I guess he still counts.) 

I've basically been lucky with my roommates. After a few college roommate true-disasters, I can say with total certainty that things could have been a LOT worse. And though I am accustomed to looking, this search came as a surprise since my current roommate had estimated she'd at least stay a year and gave notice after seven months. 

So to Craigslist and Westside Rentals I went. And while I was happy to get quite a few normalish inquiries, I was even happier to receive the crazies. At least it kept it entertaining. And what better place to embarass the crazies but here? 

Thus I give you, dear readers, the Greatest Hits of the Crazy Craigslisters. I am not altering these - I am copying and pasting and merely changing the font to match my format. What you see is what I got:

i am writing you to enquire about the room for rent inside of your apartment. i am a university graduate recently and am working as an office assistant at a company in downtownlosanegles. i am quiet, clean and do not smoke anything. please let me know a time i can come see the room inside of your apartmentand get to know you better. thanks you.

Hi! My two friends and I recently graduated from UCLA and are looking to save money by renting a room together. I realize this may not be what you are looking for but we are very accustomed to sharing small quarters after iving in our sorority house for a couple years. If you are open to this arrangement, please respond. We look forward to meeting you!!!!! :) :) :) 

Pause. Author's note. It did briefly ocurr to me to let them move in and live stream their activities for profit...

My name is XXXX and I am a 48 year old woman from Fort Lauderdale. My mother, whom I've been living with all my 48 years, recently passed away and I would like to leave Florida and make a fresh start in a new city. I visited the Los Angeles area once as a child and have fond memories of it. I think this will be a good catharsis for me. I will be in town at the end of June. 

To whom it may concern: I am responding to your ad on Craigslist regarding the spacious apartment in Studio City. I presently reside in San Diego but want to bring my 10 year old daughter to L.A. for a year to start her acting career. I was hoping we and our dalmatian, Paco, could take a look at your apartment. We will probably not be home much as I am sure my daughter will be on a lot of auditions. My husband may come up for visits but he can stay in a hotel. Please let me know your thoughts and thank you in advance. 

hello -- I am writing on behalf of my friend who has been crashing on my couch for a while now. He needs to move out. Please let me know when he can come look at the place and I will make sure he shows up.

Hi there! My name is XXXX and I have a lovable golden retriever named XXXX. I am easygoing, friendly, clean, financially stable, etc. I know in your ad you said you are 33. In the interest of full disclosure, I should tell you I am a 58 year old male but I think age is really just a state of mind, don't you? I don't think it's creepy. I've lived on my own for a while now but thought it would be fun to have a roommate to keep me young. 

No, no, that's not creepy at all....

I also got one from a woman who just wanted to spend a year away from her husband. I deleted that one but now kind of wish I'd saved it... The rest were either viable or just so crazy they were pitiful. 

But thankfully, the cream rose to the top. 

 

 

Quote of the Day

I read this study yesterday that stated Americans are addicted to smart phones.

Kids, I don't know about you, but my response to that is, basically, "DUH."

And Brian wonders:

 

"Why must EVERYTHING we love be considered an 'addiction?'

Can't it just be 'awesomeness we never knew we needed all the time?'"

 

Indeed, Brian. INDEED. 

 

With Apologies to any Minors Who Read This Blog...

Often times, I will deny it til I'm blue in the face but the truth is, I have a temper. I can take a LOT, but the one thing I will NOT stand for is bullies. And so, today, when someone told a friend of mine she was stupid and ignorant, when I know the exact opposite to be true (and frankly, know this bully to be not only ignorant but emotionally immature and interminably naive - often to the point of eye-rolling absurdity), I got ANGRY. 

When I SNAP, and it happens quickly once I get to the point when its warranted, it's BAD. It's REALLY bad. And two things happen:

1. I start to use really big words and play dirty. 

2. Ultimately I just shit down and remove myself from the situation. I really don't like myself in this mode. 

But reflecting upon today's argument with said bully, I decided this much -- and here is where I apologize to the under 18 audience --

Do NOT call someone stupid. Do NOT call someone ignorant. Those are horrible words. More so when they are ot true of the person you are labeling as such. I would rather be called a motherfucker. Motherfuckers, most of the time, are at least SMART. ;)

My friends are my family. You do NOT come after my family. 

A little bit of glamour, a little bit of guac

What's up fellow Los Angelenos? (Is that what we're called? I never know.) I've got a restaurant RAVE for you: 

I'm sure many of you know about Pink Taco. For a while, it's been a stand-out (literally - it's got a HUGE entry and it's BRIGHT pink) down at the Century City Mall and now, they have finally opened a second Los Angeles location. Found at 8225 Sunset Boulevard in the heart of the Sunset Strip, the hot spot features a winning combination of authentic Mexican cuisine and Hollywood trend. 

Pink Taco’s house favorites are known as such for a reason. Their signature homemade Guacamole, made fresh throughout the day topped with red onions, cilantro and lime juice is a treat. You cannot beat their Lobster Enchiladas, which are made in a brandy chipotle cream sauce that is to die for (I wanted to lick the plate). But you can’t enjoy a solid Mexican meal without a margarita and Pink Taco’s do not disappoint. Favorites include the “Puerto Rican Jane” which has, among other things, orange liqueur, fresh honeydew, fresh strawberries, and… fresh ground black pepper in it. (Sound weird? Cause it did t me but I figured I should try it and WOW! It’s surprisingly refreshing.) Owner Harry Morton is not without a sense of humor so you will also see “The Cock Fight” and a “Mexican Rodeo” on the drink menu. (I don't know what a "Mexican Rodeo" entails but it can't be sanitary.)

I'm telling you - the pepper was fantastic

The iconic 12,000-square-foot, three-level space, which was formerly the home of Miyagi’s (which was SOOOO run down in the end of days) and opened during Memorial Weekend, is rich with Hollywood history. The location once housed the infamous Player’s Club in the 1940’s so Morton worked hard to and restore the interiors to the original grandeur, exposed brick and raw steal ironwork.

Each level has its own theme, however. The first level, which also holds the largest patio on the strip, brings the patrons a little “Day of the Dead” vibe. Upstairs, the second level has more traces of the venue’s 1940’s roots; it’s a little more Mexican colonial than Mexican holiday. The third floor remains a mystery with secrets only known to Morton, who will unveil it later in the year.

Any questions? Ask the staff – they are both friendly and knowledgeable. You would do well to ask to be seated in Hannah’s section - because I have a girl crush on her - and make nice with the general manager, Jim. If the Sunset Strip on a Saturday night sounds daunting, start off slow with a weeknight but definitely spend it on the patio. You will probably NEVER catch me on the Sunset Strip on the weekend but I'll come meet you any weeknight for a beverage. ;) 

Thanks so much, PT, for having me and Chris over for dinner. Just DELICIOUS all around. I was so pleasantly surprised! I'm totally coming back. 

The official article and more photos can be found on my Examiner page: http://www.examiner.com/review/glamour-and-mexican-food-come-to-the-sunset-strip-via-pink-taco

Photo courtesy of my date. I look like crap but I just decided not to care. :)