Perhaps you can recall some of my more hilarious online dating woes. I mean, when I think about the parade of total lunatics I've encountered -- Goldfish Josh, the IHOP Cop, Mr. "I'm not gay, I swear," The Babymaker and "Extra Butter" Guy, among others -- it's a wonder I've not yet converted and joined up with a conclave of nuns.
I'm on board with their outfits. I dig black minimalist fashion.
In any case, Tuesday night's Social Media Club LA panel focusing on online dating and social media was of particular interest to me. Actually, I was sorta skeptical at first. I don't know... social media and online dating? How is that relevant exactly? And I'm dating someone, so did I need to be at this panel?
Regardless, I missed some faces and I went. And I was glad. It was a great panel. And you know I'd be the first one to say if it wasn't. You guys, it was great. Because as it turns out, about 99% of the rules you should apply to online dating strategy can be applied to social media... and LIFE. No joke. Check this out...
Our panelists were Julie Spira, Jennifer Kelton and Scott Lewallen, who had great chemistry as a trio. Our moderator, Debra Ecklerling -- spot on as always.
And here were the key takeaways for me:
- Originally, Scott Lewallen and his co-founder scribbled the idea for creating Grindr on a napkin. I do shit like this all the time so I can only conclude the million-dollar idea is out there... Point is, though, you never know!
- Be authentic, genuine and find a unique voice. About online dating or life? I think both.
- "People love instant gratification, but community building in social media takes time," said Julie Spira. Good things come to those who wait! Lord knows I love instant gratification.
- "Put your best foot forward in online dating, just like when you go to a cocktail party. Cultivate those relationships," said Scott. Look good, feel good, know your shit, right? The panel went on to talk about nourishing your relationships. I think there was a garden metaphor.
- Is an emotional approach better than a statistical one? I think anything is better when there's some passion behind it. Connecting is what it's all about, right? Ask a successful career gal like me if she ever got anyhere without passion...
- Proofread, be timely and relevant, put out quality information. Well.... YEAH. (Says the girl who always has to proofread her blogs 85 timses.)
- Get back to people. Which is one of my pet peeves. We're human beings. We love closure.
- Cut the bullshit. Know your goal. Eyes on the horizon. (Maybe athletes pool their motives from online dating, too?)
- Don't burn bridges. Be kind. I think I say this to the teens I volunteer with once a month. ALWAYS try to be kind to others. I always liked it put like this - and I'm paraphrasing: You never know if the face you punch today will be connected to the ass you have to kiss tomorrow.
- Don't stalk. (I'm going to ignore this advice. Just owning that right now.)
- Get input from trusted sources. (Hence I seldom go shopping alone.)
- Know yourself. Find your voice. Know who you are. You gain nothing by lying to yourself, right?
Again, I say: GREAT event. Thoroughly enjoyed. And while I wish there'd been a bigger turnout, I kinda feel like the vibe of the room was born out of intimacy anyway -- it was all for the best. And hopefully people will read this entry and kick their own asses for not coming. I mean, we talked about REVENGE PORN, guys. You totally missed out.
