CONFESSIONS OF A FAT GIRL

Getting my Craft on!

I recently had the privelege of collaborating with fellow blogger, Xenia of Raised by Culture, to coordinate a craft party. We decided to limit the attendance to the SoCal Lady Bloggers, our favorite blogger networking group. But I want to show it off to you nice people cause I've got the crafting bug now and it's contagious as all get-out. 

We were super fortunate that The Makery came on board to host us and subsequently brought on Academy of Handmade and A Little Known Shop. These ladies normally do not work on Sundays -- it was deeply flattering that they made the time and effort. We got to try our hands at three craft projects and enjoy some really delicious eats and, of course, spectacular company. 

My favorite projects were the magazine crafts -- we made gift boxes, bags and little folded shirt-cards out of simple magazine pages. I, of course, managed to snag magazine pages filled with Star Trek, Doctor Who and Marvel Superheroes. I decided to call mine the "Cumberbox" (a Benedict Cumberbatch reference). 

We also made natural wood beaded necklaces and gift bags out of newspaper, ribbon and washi tape. You guys, I LOVE washi tape. I need to invest.

I was super excited that Pop Chips said yes right away and sent over fifty bags of chips for us to give out. They are my favoritest brand of chips and you'd better believe I kept a couple bags at home for myself. And Green Tomato Grill was beyond generous with their catering donation. They sent us wraps and salads and popcorn with choice after choice of combination. Each thing was more delicious than the next and everyone raved about the meal so I just can't thank those guys enough. 

One of the best parts of this whole experience is that thanks to the kindness of all of our sponsors, we were able to put on this event for FREE. That means the fifteen bloggers who attended did not have to pay anything to attend. It's actually always a tough call to do that - not charging money makes it easier in the end for people to bail at the last minute without any money at stake, but we wanted to be kind-hearted about this. We did ask everyone to bring cookies to share for dessert and goodie bags but I think cookies are a small price to pay, right? Cookies are everything. 

Thank you Xenia, sponsors and all of the lovely ladies who showed up to participate and support us. I am all warm and fuzzy'd by your love and well-wishes. It got me overe the disappointment of last-minute cancellations and no-shows and made the long drive there and back (everything in LA is not 20 minutes!) totally worth it. 

1. Sweeps for Bloggers
2. What I Run Into
3. This Talk Ain't Cheap
4. All Those Things I Love
5. Create-Celebrate-Explore
6. Mothership Scrapbook Gal
7. Ann About Town
8. Hydrangea Hippo
9. Horsing Around in LA
10. Cid Style File
11. My Life is a Journey
12. Minnesota Girl in LA
13. Organized Island

Not pictured: Social Hospitality

{--HUGS!--}

Things in the News -- And Then Laughter

Dear lord, people, the world is going to hell in a handbasket. 

Reluctant to make this blog all newsy, political and serious, I will only say this - I am completely disturbed by the outcome of the Zimmerman trial. And the best blogger response to it that I've read so far is from my friend Jessica Gottlieb. I could not even come close to articulating my own sentiment this well so I am thankful she is so eloquent. 

And not to trivialize that, but I am just devastated about the passing of Cory Montieth. While I stopped watching Glee about a season and a half ago, I still bring up all the musical performances on YouTube and will never forget how charged I felt watching the pilot episode. And this performance gives me chills every time I see it, even still. He was only 31 and that's just too effing young. It's incredibly sad. 

ALL OF THAT ASIDE, and because of all of that, I felt the need to bring some things to your attention that made me laugh and smile recently. Let's all pause for a few minutes and SMILE, dammit!

- This tweet. And if you're not a hockey fan, just trust that it's brilliant:

- This snippet from Cynopsis - news and snark. Well played:

Lindsay Lohan's mom, Dina, is on board with the eight-part reality series her troubled daughter is doing for OWN about life after rehab (Lindsay gets out of Betty Ford at the end of July). "It's fantastic," Dina told E! News. "If anyone is going to mentor you, it's going to be Oprah." As opposed to your mother...

- This story:

 

I don't know if this means I should start picking up hitchhikers regularly, but if I ever see John Cusack or Matt Bomer on the side of the road, you'd best believe I'd run a bitch over to pick them up...

- This news that more animal cuteness is coming to the web.... YES. 

- NICOLAS CAGE AS DISNEY PRINCESSES. It is everything.

I Promise This is the Last Time I'll Mention #Sharknado*

* I'm totally lying. The movie is a horrible hot mess of amazement and wonder, and I reserve the right to mention it ad nauseum. You're welcome, readers.

My friend Emily discovered the awesomeness that is Sharknado. What followed was two hours of texting and witty commentary that I dare not keep to only ourselves. Enjoy the highlights below:

 

 

 

Note: This whole thing was tough to piece together cause I had to screenshoot it piece by piece -- apologies for any redundancies. You get the idea.

What's Up, Friday?

Did you know Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia is the fear of long words? Seems rather cruel, right?

Also, Ithyphallophobia is a fear of seeing, thinking about, or having an erect penis. 

You're welcome. Happy Friday.

1. This recipe for BROWN BUTTER CARAMEL SNICKERDOODLES. Omigodpeople. One of the interns at work brought these into the office and they are simply delicious. Chewy, buttery, sweet and salty, perfect and delicious. 

2. "25 Scandalous Needlepoints Your Grandma Would Hate," brought to me by Chris at What I Run Into. I want to needlepoint all of these onto sweet, little pillows and decorate the crap out of my house with them. #14 is my favorite -- let's be honest -- it's kind of my mantra.

3. As I am OBSESSED with Robin Thicke's "Blurred Lines," this list from Buzzfeed cracked me up a lot. You gotta be familiar with the song's lyrics to fully appreciate it, though.

4. Aisha Tyler's "Girl on Guy" podcast. I wish I could remember who suggested it to me. But she is fabulous and I am enjoying it. 

5. SHARKNADO.

 

 

P.S. Once you have used the term "erect penis" in your web browser, it's AMAZING what pops up in your Facebook, Google and Typepad advertising. 

The Height Dilemma

I've learned so much about online dating over the years. Mostly I've learned that its a crapshoot. As I've obviously been utilizing it for years, it's clearly not working out for me thus far. I know other people that have quickly met a match. I know some people who married someone they met via a dating website. 

Here is something else -- online dating, if nothing else, really hones your bull-shit-meter. Because here is what else I now know:

• A "restaurant consultant" or "food services professional" is probably a waiter.*
• "My mother is temporarily living with me" means "I live at home." It also means "I do not have my act together."
• Apparently "Hey Sexy" is a very popular - albeit unacceptable - conversation starter.

And all of that I could understand. I mean, I work in PR so if anyone is gonna applaud a little spin, it's gonne be me. (But dear lord, guys, just tell me you're a waiter. I don't care. "Food service professional" is a ridiculous term.)

So here's the thing, gentlemen. And I want you to pay attention because this is some quality advice I'm about to lay down. Learn it well.

STOP LYING ABOUT YOUR HEIGHT.

Seriously! I'm gonna level with you -- there are a lot of things you can lie to us about. A lot. You live with mom? Mom does your laundry? Do you wait tables at Denny's part time while you work on a script that is sure to make you the next Tarantino? Perhaps you have a closet of porn at home....

You can tell me a lot of things. And I will have to take you at your word. But I'm only a hair udner five-feet-seven-inches. I know this because I get measured annually by a very compitent physician. And I wear a lot of very flat shoes. And I know how tall my mother, father and brother are. So when I meet you in person, one of the very first things I notice about you, outside of your great butt and smoldering eyes (if you're lucky), is how tall you truly are.

That's right! Within seconds of our first encounter, I'm gonna know if you're Honest Abe, or a dirty, stinkin' height-fibber. 

You can't even hide it. You can't fake it. Even if you're gonna put in lifts, wear a dress shoe with a slight heel. I'm checking. I have a couple academic degrees under my belt and I feel like this qualifies me on paper to know when 5'10" is really 5'7". I'm just sayin'. 

Will I date a short guy? Maybe. Maybe not. I don't know. But I won't date a guy that proves himself a liar or a moron inside of 30 seconds of meeting. First impressions are a big deal no matter what you try to tell yourself. 

Does this make me shallow? Maybe. But at least I'm being honest. Which is more than I can say for you, liar-liar-pants-on-fire.

Also, I am the epitome of maturity. You're welcome.

* No offense to waiters intended. I'm sure you're universally nice people.

 

 

Bathing Suit Season. Not my Fave. But...

Well, yeah.... It's summer. I guess.

Nine times out of ten, if invited to go lay by the pool, I'll pass. Especially in a co-ed setting. It's for my comfort as much as everyone else's. It's not just my weight; it's that my skin is a pasty blinding shade of white and who wants to see that in the sunshine? 

I do own a couple bathing suits. They might be considered conservative suits but with a rack like mine, you can't really call anything meant for swimming conservative. 

Perusing online, there are so many more options for plus sized gals than there used to be. It's really amazing. There are really great options at City Chic and Lane Bryant as well as some affordable choices at Target, but my favorite suits were at - big surprise - Nordstrom.

Kind of vintage inspired, right? The light ruching makes it more flattering.

 

She is clearly a busty girl like me and pulling it off. Get it, girl!

 

The famous "Miracle Suit." Again - ruching. Love.

 

Black Tea on my Face - Say What?

One of my goals on the "34 in 2013" list (which I am hopelessly behind on) is to take better care of my skin. And it was one of the things I added as kind of an easy out. I mean, at the end of the year, surely I'd be able to check that one off because I wash my face almost every night (I know, I know - I'm horrible but you've soooo done it; admit it) and I moisturize at night and in the morning. 

Right?

So I've been trying to do a better job. I've been washing my face every night -- with the good stuff no less, not just wipes -- and I've been better about using the nighttime cream and the morning moisturizer with SPF. And I've been far better about washing my makeup brushes; a task that's gone sorely underminded in my life, I must confess.

A few weeks ago, the last event I advised for the youth group was a mini spa night at Fresh at The Grove, one of my favorite LA spots. I wasn't intending to get a makeover or anything but they invited me to do so and I did have a date later that night, so what the hell...

Right now, you're wondering why you didn't hear about this date until now. That is because ten minutes into it, he looked right at my chest and uttered "god you have nice tits." I politely changed the subject, ordered a second drink to make sure I at least spent more of his hard-earned bread before telling him I had an early meeting and ducking out. It hardly merits a whole blog post because he's basically the slimiest slimeball in all of slimeland. 

So clearly the highlight of that evening was my spa night with the girls. And when I woke up the next day, my skin felt marvelous. So muh so that when I returned to The Grove that evening for a dinner meeting, I went early to swing by Fresh and buy me some face mask magic. 

And thus, I felt like I should share it with you, dear readers. Too often I am pitched products or events and subsequently brag to you about them and let's be honest - I'm being honest but these are not products I find organically. So it's  nice when something excites me enough that I can bring it to you of my own volition. 

Ok, up front I must tell you, this is not cheap shit. Sold at 3.4 ounces for $88 or 1.6 ounces for $55, it is not a bargain, I know. I mean, I only splurged for the smaller one myself. But I'm still using it and still in love with it. I'm using it 2-3 times a week as suggested, and even spent one night sleeping with it on, as the nice lady at Fresh hinted to me I could do. I won't even bore you with the italicized description of what it contains and what it does from the website - I don't even care. But it smells like tea, which I'm a whore for, and it makes my skin feel silky fresh, so I'm a happy girl.

Does anyone else use this stuff? Or something else from Fresh you love? Share in the comments below. I'm a new fan. It may be something I have to save for and treat myself to on special ocassions, but I wanna know what to keep an eye out for.

My goodness, they have something called a brown sugar body polish that - I don't know about you, but - I think sounds like HEAVEN and I want to know if I'm right! 

A Short Note on Date Night

Earlier, there was this:

I have a date tonight. I hesitated to share that bu what the hell - I'll pimp for your words of encouragement. #SoNervous

— AJ (@AmandaJoy) July 5, 2013

Never mind my silly typo (always!),  I was consequently sent over some lovely tweets from some very supportive friends and fellow bloggers. Thank you to all of those kind folks. 

Isn't it interesting...

On a date night I get myself so worked up. To the point of stomach ache, even. And I worry so much about wether or not he'll like me -- and I always forget. 

I forget that I am also allowed to like or not like him. That he is also in the same position -- surely he must be worried to some degree about wether or not I like him.

It's just something we insecure gals need to remind ourselves. A lot. I am sure this is not the last time I'll do this to myself.

And all that said, I had a very nice night - good conversation and good setting. We'll see if there's a second date... But I'm so pleased I even got through it at all, I almost don't care (for now).