CONFESSIONS OF A FAT GIRL

Remember That Time I Tried Vodka?

If I turn out to be a "vodka blogger," I want you all to know -- that's okay with me. After all, Caroline on Crack and e*star LA do very well blogging about boozy adventures.

Here's the disclosure part of the blog entry that the FTC makes me do. Chopin sent me vodka. Three kinds. In return, I must tell you what I think in an honest fashion. Which is good because I'm a shitty liar (okay, I'm actually a really good liar, but I don't want to get fined by the FTC and I never lie abbout vodka anyway). So kindly get off the edge of your seat - that's no way to sit if you're a grown up - and read on. 

The first thing I must commend Chopin on is the packaging. The vodka samples, mini bottles of potato, rye and wheat based vodkas, came in a lovely box with proper branding and tight closures. Nothing was rattling or broken when it arrived at my door.

I mean, I'm not really sure how I feel about "sip slowly," but it's probably good advice, right? ;)

Behold, the wonders within:

Look, mom!!! It' triplets!!!

(My mom either just smiled because she also likes vodka and finds my humor amusing... or she hung her head in shame, worried this is the closest she'll ever get to grandchildren. Which, I must admit, would be terrible for her... But kind of awesome for me.)

Now, I've tried Russian vodkas, Dutch vodkas - even a Texan vodka. I've actually never tried a Polish vodka before (Belvedere, you may be aware, is Polish but I've never really cared to try it), so I was excited. Chopin is a specialty vodka meticulously produced in small batches in the Podlasie farmland region of northeast Poland by master distiller Waldemar Durakiewicz. Unlike most vodka companies, which often use ingredients that come from unknown sources, Chopin controls it's process from farm to bottle by working with local Polish farmers to naturally grow potatoes, rye and wheat. It is one of the only single-ingredient vodkas in the world. They practice sustainable farming. The whole process is very natural as even the left-over potato mash is returned to the farm field for fertilizer -- Chopin doesn't use additives or artificial ingredients (such as flavorings) like some vodkas.

Also worth noting for my many gluten-free homies, Chopin is one of the only major brands of vodka that offer gluten-free options (shoot me an email if you want to know who else does). And FYI, Chopin is also the world's only vodka brand to offer tours of its distillery. So... you know what I think? I think they need to fly me out for a tour. I'm just sayin'.... I don't know what goes on at a vodka distillery, but I bet it's frickin' cool. And I bet they have bleu-cheese stuffed olives. Which are my favortie dirty martini accompaniment.

I knew there were different ways to make a vodka but I guess I never really gave it this much thought, so testing out the triplets was a great experience for me.

POTATO

Here's a cool fact for you: it takes about 40 potatoes or 7 pounds to make just one bottle of Chopin potato vodka. And here is the weird part. If you really hone in on it, you can taste GREEN APPLE. I'm not joking. It has a clear, clean smell and a creamier consistency, but it totally has a green apple kick. Some people will tell you potato vodka is your best bet for a dirty martini. I might argue that point but more on that in a bit...

RYE

Now, the potato vodka was my favorite of the three, but much to my surprise, it was a really close race with the rye vodka. The rye also had a clear, smooth scent for me but a way more vodka-y (making up that word!) taste going down. Definitely spicier.

WHEAT

I was thrown for a loop with wheat vodka. Because I didn't know until I drank it that my favorite* vodka is a wheat vodka. As soon as I tasted this, I knew it was similar to my favorite brand. And I love a good dirty martini with the fave and yet, I have to wonder now, having tasted all the Chopin flavors this week, if I might like it even more with the Chopin potato vodka. So that's gonna happen real soon, I promise... The wheat, by comparison to its siblings, was suddenly sweeter to me. It also had the strongest smell. By a big margin. I'm stunned. This was ultimately a mind-blower for me.

More:

• Who is Frédéric François Chopin that this vodka is named for? 
• To find out which smarty-pants near you is selling Chopin, give this link a click. 
• Chopin is on Facebook. Visit them and let them know if you prefer Potato, Rye or Wheat!
• They are also on Twitter. And they are totally paying attention -- they tweeted me back on Sunday and it made me smile.
• And amazingly, they also have an app. It's pretty cool!

And for added fun, enjoy this delicious, famed Chopin recipe. Why "Cuban?" I'm looking into it. I saw one article that suggests Chopin is actually Cuban. I'll let you know how it turns out. 

Chopin Cuban

Crush 3/4 tsp. sugar, 3 fresh sprigs of mint, and 3/4 oz. lime juice. Add 5 large ice cubes and 2 oz. of Chopin Potato Vodka. Shake and strain into a martini glass. Top with a splash of Moet & Chandon Imperial Champagne.

*It somehow did not seem right to name my favorite brand of vodka. Especially because I liked Chopin Potato Vodka so much, it may be my new favorite.

In Which the X-Men Days of Future Past Trailer Comes Out and I Explode

My grandpa bought me a DVD player for Hanukkah in the year 2000.

The first DVD I ever bought was X-Men. (I also bought Sneakers from a bargain bin -- I effing love that movie.)

You may not know this about me but I've read a lot of X-Men comic books and variations thereof. Origins, Uncanny, Adventures of, Ultimate.... There's a ton of them. A ton.

Anyway, point is, I love the series a LOT. 

And I love this trailer a LOT.

 

Also, whichever genius made this trailer did a smart thing using the "Adagio in D Minor" by John Muprhy, one of my favorite pieces of film music (it was originally composed for an underrated film called Sunshine with Chris Evans but you might also recognize it from Murphy's Kick-Ass score, among other places it's made appearances).

Anyway, this is not an entertainment blog but it's certainly a ME blog and dammmit, I'm EXCITED.

Chris Lam, get ready for some Michael-Fassbender-in-latex action.

This Comic Con cast photo is awesome - especially because Peter Dinklage is a midget but not so short that they still put Anna Paquin and Ellen Page on crates.

 

It's #Menday. Take Yer Pants Off.

The slogan is in progress.

But seriously, take your pants off. I'm not judging.

The building I work in is also home to a group of cable networks and every now and then, walking throug the lobby or courtyard, I get to see a celebrity rushing through on their way to an interview or jumping into a town car. 

Not so very long ago, I could have sworn I saw Colin Farrell getting on an elevator. My heart jumped up into my throat. I love him. I mean, he's got this whole dirty-sexy thing I'm oddly obsessed with. And the accent. 

I hurried to my office and quickly emailed a friend who works at one of the networks. She didn't know if he was in the building but she was kind enough to lie to me and say he was. And then she sad he was asking about me and that he wanted very much to syay hello and propose but he was only a little shy. And of course I believed her. This is why now the same friend calls me Mrs. Farrell. (To return the favor, I call her Mrs. Hunnam.)

What really sold me were his appearances on Ellen. As you know, I love me some Ellen. Here's an appearnace where they included a montage of his Ellen appearance highlights. SWOON!

 

Right?! He's so adorable I can hardly stand it.

Also, Starz has been showing the Total Recall remake lately. It's horrendous but he's sexy as all get out. I kind of love watching him kick ass. So I've watched a bit of it here and there.

This one is really my favorite pic, though. I call it his "come hither" look:

Lastly, do yourself a favor and see Crazy Heart if you haven't. He's amazing in it. And the singing is really him. So good. Jeff Bridges is terrific in it (clearly since he earned an Oscar for it), and it makes me nuts that Colin gets little to no recognition for his performance.

Cheers to another Menday! 

Always Look at the Brighter Side of Life

I must admit, I've been slacking on my "34 in 2013" list and actually, I'm pretty upset about it. After failing to do so many things last year, I entered this year with the best and most earnest of intentions, determined to conquer each task and have a completed list by December 31.

What can I say? Life gets in the way. So do finances. Or lack of. 

But next year, I am thinking a shorter list is the way to go. Maybe one item per month. We'll see. 

One of my line-items on the list is "Be kinder to my skin and teeth." I've actually succeeded at both but am aggravated because despite being more diligent about skin care, find that my skin is actually the most broken out its ever been. Luckily, my teeth are in fine shape thanks to more flossing and more thorough brushing; more frequent dentist visits. 

And I happened to learn about Brighter.com. Their service was created to give its members the most information possible to make an educated decision on their dental care. Users can look at the price comparisons between dentists as well as their yelp reviews, credentials, images and videos, and also schedule their appointments right there on the site.

Brighter.com has partnered with over 500 dentists in Los Angeles County, and has worked (much like insurance companies do) to pre-negotiate the prices of over 400 procedures so that when members book through Brighter, they save an average of 50% on any procedure (up to 70% on preventive procedures like cleanings). Membership is free. Brighter.com covers everything from preventive care to restorative work to cosmetic procedures (including procedures that insurance does not cover like braces and whitening).

47% of Los Angeles residents lack public or private dental insurance (that’s three times as many people without healthcare insurance)—that’s 4.7 million people without dental coverage. 57% of LA residents without dental insurance currently seek no preventive care at all and 17% have been to the dentist only once or not at all in the past 10 years. Astounding statistics. 

So if you don't have dental insurance (hell, even if you do), this is a FREE, SIMPLE way to investigate what's available to you. It's a way to get the best quality out there for the lowest price possible. A win-win. Darest I say -- an online, present-day "1 800 Dentist," right? (I'm dating myself!) 

And because, as you well know, my fine, feathered friends, I am nothing if not a giver, and because the incentive behind my better teeth-care goal is actually whiter teeth, I found this list of foods that help with that ambition and wanted to share:

• Crunchy fruits and veggies. They function as scrub brush for your teeth, and also stimulate saliva that helps plaque from forming.
• Oranges and pineapples. Their acid may help to whiten and brighten the surface of the teeth, and also contain enzymes that kill bacteria that cause tooth decay and bad breath.
• Strawberries. They contain an enzyme called malic acid that can help whiten teeth.
• Dairy products like yogurt, milk or hard cheeses. Dairy is loaded with calcium which guards and strengthens bone that holds teeth in place and they can help protect teeth against decay. 
• Obviously, you also want to avoid thing that can stain your teeth - coffee, soda, soy sauce and tobacco to name a few. 

God speed and floss on. Let me know if you give Brighter.com a try. You can also find them on Facebook, Pinterest and Twitter. I particularly enjoy their "animal smiles" pin board. Too cute! 

What's Up, Friday?

It is hard to believe that only a week ago I was presiding over a wedding. Just a week? It's been an eternity since I was in Seattle and I already miss it. 

Obviously, it's been a long week! But aren't they all? 

I very much enjoyed a couple "fan" notes I've gotten this week thanking me for posting many, many images of hot guys. To formally respond, I can only say YOU ARE WELCOME. And also, IT'S MY PLEASURE. I mean.... really. It's. My. Pleasure. 

I don't know what's going on, people. Maybe I'm in heat. What can I say? I'm just addicted to sexy man photos these days. And as I did not want to disappoint my fans, crazy as they are, I was sure to include more eye candy this week. 

1. I won't make you wait for number five. Here:

You're welcome, America. 

There are like 18 more photos but I can't post them right now because I'm FIGHTING OFF THE URGE TO DRINK AND TAKE MYSELF TO BED. This is a hot story. You'll notice I'm not even telling you the headline or what it's about but does it matter? Dear god, LOOK AT THAT PHOTO! It justifies all the shouty caps in the world. 

Phew! I'm exhausted. 

2. I seem to have a reborn love of pizza these days. I think it's the influence of a co-worker who is a self-proclaimed pizza aficionado. And on Tuesday at our Social Media Club event, a nice guy brought me a couple slices from this place and it was delicious. So I am obsessed with this article, 101 Best Pizza in America, and I want to try them all. Someone buy me a private plan, ok?

3. A genius on Etsy hand crafted a Golden Girls Lego set. It's already sold but let's all pause to appreciate its amazingness anyway:

4. Perhaps you are familiar with this bit from the movie Pitch Perfect which spawned a bazillion YouTube tributes and a surprise hit single for Anna Kendrick. Believe me, I've watched a lot of them. But this one here is my absolute favorite! 

 

5. I have found a new Tumblr to love and it is called Honest Slogans. And while I admittedly have stolen a few images for this post, I will not steal any from Honest Slogans because Huffington Post did -- and this is my one chance to be better than Huffington Post. Just go check it out. It's hilariously accurate. And sometimes tragically accurate. ;)

Being a Tourist at Home

I'm excited that coming soon to an AJ near me (STFU, I'm hilarious) is another fabulous tourist attractions type experience for me and my friends to enjoy. I'm lucky that I have a reliable group of homies to do goofy, fun things with! We are always on the look out for things to do in Hollywood (and beyond). Perhaps you'll recall my "Girls Knight Out" adventure? .

Next up for us? The Hollywood Wax Museum.

Hollywood Wax Museum is the longest-running wax museum in the United States. It has been the most visited indoor attraction in Hollywood since 1965 and was the first wax museum to dedicate its entire show to Hollywood, celebrities and pop culture. Designed for interaction; rather than walking by and just looking, visitors are encouraged to walk into the open sets and take photos with the figures. I assure you, there will be an album of photos for you to enjoy post-outting. 

Fun facts: Hollywood Wax Museum was recognized last year as a “Hero of Hollywood”. The company that founded the attraction and continues to own and operate it, as well as expand the brand, is known for its integrity, relationship building and community service. It is a unique American success story—from one man’s vision comes an icon of Hollywood and tribute to entertainment. The company now has three generations of the founder’s family working in it. The neon sign on Hollywood Blvd that appears in many Hollywood montages has 17 stars, representing each of his children and grandchildren. Hollywood Wax Museum continually surveys guests about their favorite figures and those they wish to see in the Museum. The least favorites are replaced regularly and the Museums are updated frequently to give visitors the most fun experience possible. The mission is to have fun in a unique environment, to spend some time admiring people you love, learning something about them, and having the opportunity to come up with funny, creative, and sweet poses for pictures that will bring you great memories.

More:

• Like the Hollywood Wax Museum on Facebook.
• Follow them on Twitter. 

I was selected for this opportunity as a member of Clever Girls Collective and the content and opinions expressed here are all my own.

Hold That Pose

AuraYoga, which opened its doors for the first time earlier inthe month here in LA, takes a new approach to yoga, using Zebra Mat flooring, allowing you to hold your poses longer with increased comfort by way of the shock-absorbing cushion system – enabling higher friction between the body and floor.

AuraYoga comes from the guys who founded AuraCycle, a celebrity hotspot, transforming the workout room to feel like a nightclub, full of colored lights to keep your momentum up as well as beats played on live instruments. It looks pretty frickin' awesome:

In my mind, it's like the Virgin America of studios. You have to have flown Virgin to get that. 

Master Yoga Instructor Jake Ferree will spearhead the training and class design for the studio. "Our goal behind each Aura class is to give our students an experience, we want them to leave feeling refreshed and refueled.” Ferree states, “The practice is so much greater than just the poses, uplift your aura and experience the journey.”

Well, I'm ready. Mold me, Jake. 

Prices start at $22 per class with $110 monthly for unlimited classes. Located at 8608 A Sunset Blvd. West Hollywood, CA 90069. Free parking available in the Sunset Plaza lots.

For further information, visit: http://www.aurapulse.com/aura-yoga-studio

A Holiday Everyone Can Get Behind

Oh yes, you read that right. CARAMEL. MONTH. Get on it. 

And someone special sent me a delicious present to celebrate. It was like early Christmas. Or even better than Christmas since I don't celebrate Christmas and it's not every day you get caramel anything in the mail, right?

Enter BALANCE BAR. (And embrace them with open arms, guys. Seriously.) Their products are crafted to provide long-lasting, balanced energy, not to create a sugar rush followed by a crash that leaves you napping at your desk. Their 40-30-30 (40% carbs, 30% protein, 30% dietary fat) nutrition principle gives you long-lasting fuel combined with ingredients and flavors you love - LIKE CARAMEL! 

These bars are delicious, healthy and satisfying. Too often energy bars like this are meant to substitute for an entire meal but fail, leaving me hungry and ultimately, result in my overeating. But these are weighty -- they really are a meal. Plus, the creamy caramel and crunchy peanuts combine with a rich chocolate coating to create a taste so decadent, you'll forget how good for you this caramel and chocolate energy bar really is.

Happy National Caramel Month indeed. 

Nutrition at a Glance:

• 14g protein
• 210 calories
• Excellent source of antioxidants & Vitamin D
• 24 other vitamins & minerals

If caramel is not your thing (in which case, I'm afraid I must disown you), Balance Bars come in several other flavors. Check them out here. You can buy them online but they can also be found at your favorite national and regional retailers.

And, because Caramel Christmas (that's got a nice ring to it, right?) should happen for everyone, or at least for one lucky winner, Balance Bar has agreed to send one of you a box to try for yourself. Enter below! 

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Disclosure: I was provided with Balance Bars to try in exchange for my honest review and rapier wit. If you enter the giveaway, you might be provided with all of these things as well. You never know what will happen here at Crazy AJ's blog.