CONFESSIONS OF A FAT GIRL

It's #Menday - Get Some Dick

Who was totally appaled by that blog post title? ... Were you? 

Mom, are we still speaking? Just checking. (Like my mom's never heard me make a dick joke. Please.)

Well just calm yourselves. I was merely referring to Neptune resident bad boy -- Veronica Mars' own Dick Casablancas, played by the incomparable and delightful Ryan Hansen. He also happens to be this week's #Menday centerfold!

If you're not familiar with Veronica Mars (and if you're not, FOR SHAME!!!), Hansen's character Dick is a... well, a dick. He's the local rich boy surfer dude who is nothing but mean to Veronica and her besties. Save a few startling moments of redemption and the fact that he rocks it in a pair of board shorts, he's all-around awful. 

Amazingly enough, Hansen was only an extra on the show, but the producers liked him so much, he became a mainstay. Show creator, Rob Thomas, calls him the cast and crew's "blind spot." Dick is forgiven and forgiven because everyone loves him anyway -- as they do his real life persona. 

But don't worry, he can also be serious and steamy. 

RIGHT?! 

It's also come to my attention that he was on Two Broke Girls. I'm not sure I can listen to Kat Dennings yelling that much but if I put it on mute, it might be tolerable just to see some of this...

Regardless, this is my favorite. Because remember the Veronica Mars movie's famous Kickstarter? When it succeeded, many of the cast members made thank you videos and Hansen's was easily the best of 'em. Watch it:

 

Happy #Menday, ladies! Go #TeamDick! 

What's Up Friday? It's NATIONAL PUPPY DAY, That's What!

Did you guys know about this? I mean, first, National Potato Chip Day and now?! National Puppy Day. 

Thank you, Ann, for bringing this very important holiday to my attention. I play to celebrate it by watching copious amounts of cute dog videos, stalking photos of my friend's pets on Facebook, and cuddling on the couch with my roommate's dogs. 

And other than that, here's what's up on this day of days....

1. I know you didn't really believe I'd never mention Sharknado again. Especially when it came out there would be a sequel.  

Well, I am happy to report shooting is underway and by god, it looks even more fantastically terrible than the first one. TMZ got some footage of the dynamic Ian Ziering and Sugar Ray (I know his name is Mark McGrath but I kind of don't care) shooting a very intense fake shark battle:

 

P.S. Yes, that is Vivica Fox. I know. 

2. I've long been a reader of Forces of Geek and so I was quite excited to cover some of the PaleyFest for them this year. Check out my posts on Veronica Mars, Orange is the New Black and How I Met Your Mother. 

3. Peter Hollens is a big YouTube singing sensation, known for his a capella renditions of popular songs. Here he teams up with Kinna Grannis to cover one of my favorite songs, Bastille's "Pompeii," and it is PHENOMENAL:

 

4. I had the pleasure of guest blogging over on Organized Island this week and it was a huge success. The post turned out really well (about social media tools and tips) and people have been tweeting the crap out of it. Thanks so much, everyone! 

5. And lastly, since it is National Puppy Day, I simply must conclude with this -- it is one of the most delightful dog videos ever. I dare you to watch it and not smile. It's so great!

 

UPDATE!

6. I had to jump back into this post and add this Fallon clip - it is too cool! And I love Billy Joel.

 

Online Dating is in Rare Form This Week

It seems appropriate to get a post up about online dating, as I was just named one of the "10 Best Blogs for Plus-Size Dating" -- an honor I am deeply flattered by; esepcially because my friend Kelly is on the list as well and I love her blog so much.

Just now, I got this astute message:

"Hi pretty girl. Can me get to know you?"

Sigh. 

Yesterday:

The latest online dating come-on: "So beautiful you are! Having a nice day you is?" I THINK YODA IS HITTING ON ME!

— AJ (@AmandaJoy) March 19, 2014

 

Look, guys. I get it. I realize English isn't always going to be the first language and that perhaps my love of semi-proper grammar is a standard too high, but, as the wise men say, tough titties. Just stoppit.

In addition to these so-called flirations, I will no longer be entertaining the following opening lines or anything similar to their kind. Please note, these are all word-for-word real and the grammar, punctuation, etc. have not be altered:

• hey sexy, you have a Beautiful Smile. 
• I'd love to get to know your more sometimes.
• i'm really attraced to your personality so I hope we can meet up sometime. Do you like sushi?
• Hi. I'm looking for a freind to have fun with who knows where it could go. I'm open. How about you?
• Your profile is really good but then I was your picture and was like WHOA. Care to text?

Sorry mom, but it doesn't look like I'll be meeting Mr. Right anytime soon! 

Know When to Walk Away, Know When to Run

Here's something new and different I took out for a test drive... 

Anyone into playing the lottery? 

Lottogopher.com is the only company through which California residents can legally order Powerball, MegaMillions and Super Lotto Plus tickets on the Web. Lottogopher is also the first free lottery concierge service -- its reps travel to stores to purchase tickets on behalf of consumers and then credit users' accounts! And they do not take any portion of players' winnings. 

These kind, clever folk let me give it a whirl. And while I'm not much of a gambler, I always like to see anyone using the internet to make lives easier in any capacity. And I like to try new things. 

It was a lot of fun! I picked my numbers very ccarefully, with purpose and meaning behind them. Does everyone play that way? Most of mine were sports jersey numbers but sometimes I threw in a family member's birthday.

Those who are only casual players or who only wish to purchase a single ticket per game can utilize Lottogopher for free. More serious players pay a monthly or annual membership fee akin to a Netflix subscription. Monthly members can purchase as many tickets as they wish for any game they desire and may also virtually pool up to 100 tickets with other members. If one member of the group wins, the entire group splits the winnings.

In addition to making lottery play more convenient, the company is equally committed to reducing the carbon footprint caused by people driving to the store. To further contribute, for every annual membership they sell, Lottogopher will plant a tree in the member's honor! Love that! 

So let's plant some trees, Californians! And win a few extra bucks so we can finally take that hammock and cocktail themed vacay I've been dreaming about... Lottogopher is giving away a free month-long membership to it's site as well as 20 free Megammillions lotto tickets. How could that be bad? In a few minutes on the site, with two tickets, I won $2. I think you've got amazing odds with 20! And I totally wanna be able to say "someone won a boatload of money off my blog." (Actually, what I'd really like to say is that I won a boatload of money but I'll settle for a reader....)

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Must be a California resident to win -- Lottogopher is currently only available in California but will launch in States throughout the US in the next 12 months.

Disclosure: In exchange for this post and my in-demand honest thoughts, Lottogopher gave a few free lotto tickets to take my chances with. And if I'd won, I probably wouldn't be up late at night drafting this post... 

Quote of the Day

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When Skinny is Delicious

This post is about something long, skinny and tasty. 

STOP THAT. GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER! 

(Brand reps really like working with me, guys.)

But seriously, "Hi I'm Skinny" Sticks have up to 40% less fat than regular potato chips, up to 19g of whole grains per serving, and are a non-GMO product.

And by the by, here’s the skinny on Whole Grains from the Skinny Sticks website: "Studies show that eating whole grains instead of refined grains lowers the risk of many chronic diseases. While benefits are most pronounced for those consuming at least 3 servings daily, some studies show reduced risks from as little as one serving daily. The message: every whole grain in your diet helps!" 

One serving of whole grains = 16g. Hi I’m Skinny Salted Multi-grain sticks have 17g.

In addition, these crunchy characters come in snappy flavors like Multi-Grain Cheddar, Multi-Grain Tangy BBQ, Multi-Grain Sweet Onion, Multi-Grain Sea Salt, Veggie Tortilla and Sweet Potato.

Oh yeah, and they're also delicious. (Well, to be quite honest, I didn't care for the sweet potato, but I don't like sweet potatoes so I made everyone at my office eat them -- they were devoured quickly.)

Generally, I like anything cheesy, and I liked the multi-grain cheddar a lot, but amazingly, the veggie tortilla flavor was my favorite. Bonus points that it pairs well with hummus.

If you need something to compare it to taste-wise, the veggie tortilla really reminded me of the veggie sticks potato snacks from Trader Joe's but(!!!) the Skinny Sticks allow you 34 sticks per serving - the Trader Joe's sticks, 12. And the larger portion has far fewer grams of fat, carbs and calories. And no sugar at all. None.

I hope you'll take my word on this and give them a try. I'm a crunchy snacks kind of gal. When I need a nosh, I seldom go for sweets -- I go for salty crunchy goodness. And these are a terrific choice. You can buy them online or use the site's store locator to find them at an establishment near you.

Go ahead. Put 'em in your mouth. You know you want to. 

 

Disclosure: Hugs n' kisses to Crier Communications for the samples. Opinions are my own. 

The Top 10 80's Movie Geek Guys - A #MENday Special

I got this absolutely insane idea to organize a massive blog swap. The idea being to let a blogger walk in another blogger's shoes. What would happen when a single girl had to write for a mom blog? When a mom had to create a glunten-free post? It gave a handful of us an opportunity to mingle in new spaces. I absolutely loved it and would do it again in a heartbeat! 

So on that note, would everyone please welcome my friend and special guest blogger, Melissa? I was SUPER excited to hand Menday over to her very capable hands. I must say - the girl's got taste. 

I'll let her take it from here.... 

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Hi everyone! I'm Melissa from thevalentineRD.com. I normally write about food, fitness, family and Duran Duran but today I'm taking my love of 80's movies and applying it to #MENday! I'm very honored that AJ gave me a chance to highlight some of the geek movie men I love from the era to which I'm still wildly attached. So without any further ado, here's...

The Top 10 80's Movie Geek Guys - A #MENday Special

10. Gary (Lawrence Monoson), The Last American Virgin: This 1982 movie may be not as well known as other 80's teen flicks but it has the same well-known story lines. Not only does this movie have the camp of a teen sex comedy but it really allows you to feel for the lovable loser Gary, hopelessly in love with Karen (aka Monique from Better Off Dead)when he loses the girl to his rival. This gem of a movie not only gives you a geek to love but it also has one of the best 80's soundtracks ever (featuring The Cars, The Waitresses, REO Speedwagon and even U2)!

9. Fred (Cameron Dye), Valley Girl: This 1983 movie is one of my favorites. This was the debut of Nicolas Coppola who went on to be known as Nicolas Cage. Cage played Randy, a punk/new wave guy in love with Julie, a Valley Girl and the forbidden love by the "good" girl for the "bad" guy plays out beautifully. Fred, is Randy's sidekick. He's dorky, inappropriate and to me, absolutely lovable (see name link for a "then and now" shot). The party scene in this movie clinches it for Fred-love. If you don't remember the scene, it's worth re-watching. You'll also get the benefit of hearing some lesser played New Wave songs from The Plimsouls, Josie Cotton and Sparks when you watch this flick.

8. Mark "Rat" Ratner (Brian Backer), Fast Times at Ridgemont High: This was a tough one between Brad Hamilton (Judge Reinhold) and "Rat" but "Rat" was definitely the bigger lovable geek (Jeff Spicoli/Sean Penn doesn't count). This movie definitely shows that nice guys finish. I wanted to punch slimy Damone for Rat, the poor ticket usher in love with a very young Jennifer Jason Leigh. It seems Rat rose up in the movie world when Brian Backer played a doctor in another lovable geek movie "Loser" (2000) with Jason Biggs.

 

7.George McFly (Crispin Glover), Back To The Future: I have a soft spot for Crispin Glover. He was the weird dude in the 80's who didn't want to do to the BTTF sequels and then went off and did his own thing. I was thrilled to see him pop back up as The Thin Man in the Charlie's Angels movies (even though he didn't speak). Come on, the man's name is Crispin (and his middle name is Hellion - no joke) he was born to be off the wall so if you like different and geeky like I do, he qualifies.

6. Keith Nelson (Eric Stoltz), Some Kind of Wonderful: I absolutely adore this underrated John Hughes movie - it's one movie where the right girl finally got her guy. Eric Stoltz plays Keith with such gorgeousness that you forget that he ever played Rocky in "Mask". Keith is the smart, artistic, principled guy every girl really wants even if it means they need to learn it the hard way. Two additional bonuses: Mary Stuart Masterson as Watts (enough said) and the best version of "Can't Help Falling In Love" by Lick The Tins (barring the Elvis original) ever.

 

5. Ronald Miller (Patrick Dempsey), Can't Buy Me Love: Long before he was "McDreamy" in Grey's Anatomy, Patrick Dempsey was Ronald Miller was the geek guy who paid the popular girl to go out with him so he could be cool in 1987's "Can't Buy Me Love". Ronald was nerdy and got the taste of the popular life and let it go to his head. Even when he was geeky Ronald (before the requisite movie geek-to-chic-transformation), he had me interested before Hollywood called and had him soon playing dashing guy after dashing guy on TV and movies.

4. Lloyd Dobbler (John Cusack) Say Anything: It's classic for a reason. The movie and the character are great except for Diane (she annoyed me). John Cusack did a lot of the sweet geek roles in the 80's but Lloyd and Lane Myer from "Better Off Dead" were definitely my favorites. I miss the quirky John Cusack in movies - now it seems he just does movies for money and it makes me sad.

 

3. Gary Wallace of Weird Science AND Brian Johnson of The Breakfast Club: Anthony Michael Hall started his career playing lovable geeks. No, I didn't forget AMH's "The Geek" character in Sixteen Candles but for that movie the most lovable geek gets singular distinction (see below). Both "Gary" and "Brian" were nerdy and sort of lovable in a sad kind of way. When AMH started to grow up and bulk up (like in Johnny Be Good and Edward Scissorhands), he freaked me out. I will forever think of Anthony Michael Hall as the guy with too many names who is geeky and nerdy no matter how jacked up (or old) he is.

 

2. Long Duk Dong (Gedde Watanabe), SixteenCandles: "Whatsa happenin' hot stuff?", "Oh, sexy girlfriend", "She got married" - Long Duk Dong ruled Sixteen Candles. We felt bad for Sam (sort of), wanted Jake (yes, you did), laughed at The Geek but were in love with Long Duk Dong. Gedde gets work but he'll always be Long Duk Dong. Forever.

1. Duckie Dale (Jon Cryer), Pretty In Pink: Let it be known that I hate the color pink but this is my favorite guilty pleasure movie on Earth. It's not my favorite movie because of the love story of Andie and Blane or because James Spader is smoking hot as douchy Steff but because I fall in love with Duckie Dale every.single.time. I watch this movie. I really love all that is Duckie - the quick wit, awkwardness, loyalty, sensitivity, his ability to be unique and of course, his style (the hat, the creepers, the jackets, the bolo tie). I think my high school boyfriend knew he had me hook, line and sinker when he wore his bolo tie for picture day (I kid you not).

If you are Team Blane and don't find Duckie Dale (not Jon Cryer but Duckie Dale the character) worthy of the #1 spot in the Top 10 80's Movie Geek for #MENday, I suggest we never meet in person because we have fundamental differences in our DNA. Due to time constraints, I didn't have time to take a photo of myself wearing my "I would have chosen Duckie" shirt or it would have appeared right here proclaiming my undying love for the most lovable geek of the 80's movies.

There you have it folks -- my Top 10 80's Movie Geeks for #MENday! There were definitely a lot of runner-ups for this list that I didn't include. Who do you think I missed?

Thanks to AJ for letting me give my #MENday perspective, it's been fun. If Duckie's your man too and you want to connect with me, come find me on my blog: www.thevalentineRD.com, Twitter: @mburton0214 or Instagram: mburton0214. I have yet to embrace other forms of social media the way I should.

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I gotta tell you guys - when I was putting this into my blog, I had to really fight the urge not to comment on every single thing I loved! I will comment below like a regular reader instead. Which I pretty much am in this case. 

You can find the gues post I did on Organized Island. Click on the fabulous heels below to walk on over there...

 

 

What's Up, Friday? Can You Rub My Shoulders, Please?

I think Friday owes me a back-rub, you guys. Who's with me? LET'S ALL GO GET MASSAGES! 

Yeah. So....

 

1. Last night, I attended LA's annual PaleyFest opening night. The TV show panel du jour was a Veronica Mars renuion and I was in Marshmallow heaven. And I provided a little coverage of the event for one of my favorite sites, Forces of Geek. I hope you'll read it and comment! 

2. Seven Signs You'll Want to Put Up in Your Office But Can't. Not that I would want to put up any of these in my office. It's just funny. (And I'll leave it at that.)

3. I bet you didn't know that Google isn't limited to just the Google Drive apps and a search engine. It has a TON of tools. A. TON. Click that link back there. And that doesn't even list things like Google Fonts, Google Trends and Google Correlate. I just thought it was worth sharing. (Warning: Google Trends is a timesuck. And awesome, awesome timesuck.)

4. I'm not religious but Rabbi David Wolpe often makes me feel like I should be. Or that, at the very least, I should attend all of his services (he's quite well known in the international Jewish community but based here in Los Angeles) and listen to everything he has to say. In a recent piece, he wrote about the value of saying "I don't know." I nodded through the whole thing.

This piece from The Happy Girl Exepriment also really resonated with me -- on why "it's OKAY." 

5. From Footloose, Animal House and six degrees of friggin' everybody, Kevin Bacon brings attention to a very important issue: 80s awareness. 

 

After he finished recording this, he stormed off to the nearest abandoned warehouse to dance off his rage. 

And lastly....

6. The struggle is real.

Let's all get really introspective for a moment. It's time to decide: Jimmy Fallon or Jimmy Kimmel? Who will you elect as the Mayor of your late-night heart?

After reading this article from The Wrap's Tony Maglio (follow him, he's awesome), I decided I needed to survey y'all. Because frankly, I can't choose. How can I? Both Kimmel and Fallon make me laugh on a regular basis. Both are delightful. How can you choose between the creator of "I'm Fucking Matt Damon" and "The History of Rap?"

Well, I can't. So I want you to choose for me. VOTE BELOW! The winner will be announced in the next "What's Up Friday."

Throw down: Jimmy Kimmel or Jimmy Fallon?
	Kimmel
	Fallon
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