CONFESSIONS OF A FAT GIRL

Ring the Bells! Shoes, Glorious Shoes

Disclosure: This is a sponsored post

We're back onto shoes because I simply will not rest until I've found the perfect pair of black pumps. Or black flats. Or comfy tennis shoes. Or fabulous sandals. Or...

Ok, maybe I have a problem.

Bells Shoes was established over 100 years ago by Edward Bell. In 1960 the Martin family purchased the business (but retained the name!) which is renowned for excellent service and quality footwear. Today, Bells Shoes has one brick and mortar with a classic but modern environment offering men’s, women’s and children's footwear, handbags and shoecare. They carefully choose their footwear from some of the most sought after brands in the world. All of them are selected for style, fit, durability and value for money.

And here's the greatest thing about their website, which was originally founded in 2007 and relaunched just las year:

 

I think I actually may have found perfect black pumps. These look ridiculously comfortable - don't you agree?

Make sure while you're on the site you also look at the blog, where they give some fabulous shoe wearing advice an even make suggestions on how to dress like the celebs. 

ALL OF THE SHOES! I've been reviewing many sites, guys. I have some hard life choices to make.

Bells has a bevvy of recognizable brands like Clarks, FitFlop, Timberland, Riva, Memphisto, Crocs, Birkentsock and more. Pumps, flats, wedges, sandles - even slippers! Everything! 

I picked out some favorites. Which ones do you like best?

The Cutest Storefront Online

Disclosure: This is a sponsored post

Just because your store is online doesn't mean you can't have a little charm, style and flare! In fact, there's even more of an excuse for it! Flash! HTML! Graphics!

And I found Vendula London's site to be utterly all of those things and more. Sometimes you just want to be a total girl - I love the whimsy! 

 

Launched in 2003, Vendula London is a quirky, original fashion accessories brand with one guiding philosophy – to make people ask, "Where did you get that bag!?" Their iconic bags, purses, wallets and cases are inspired by everyday beauty, from animals and birds to shop fronts, scrapbooks and vintage style. Their fun accessories that make everyone smile. I saw a lot of owls and peacocks in their designs and it made me smile. 

So cute! The texture factor is great, too. I love fashion that invites touching. ;) 

Vendula believes success comes down to the passion and imagination that goes into each and every one of their accessories. They are constantly updating our range and introducing new lines, from card cases to ziparound purses and cross-body bags.

I like that their line is different and that they're proud to stand out from the crowd. Their customers are more like collectors and they observe all of the company's core values: 

• Always experimental
• Standout from the crowd
• make people smile
• Most importantly, have fun!

Some of the pieces that stood out to me are below. The glasses case has vintage appeal. It's like the ones my grandmother always carried. But I love all the words all over it -- very cute. 

What's Up, Friday? Naps and Smiles, That's What

The best Fridays are also the slowest Fridays. Because they are the ones that preceed a holiday weekend. My heart goes out to all of you working stiffs today because I HAVE THE DAY OFF. 

YES I DO. HA. 

Okay, that was mean. I apologize. I love you guys. But I also love sleeping a little late and spending the day at my friend's house playing with her dog. 

But onto whatever made me smile the most this week.

1. Wednesday was National Dog Day. I'm not sure I've ever been aware of this holiday before but as I am a crazy dog lady (like a crazy cat lady but with a deeper need to be licked and shake paw), you'd best believe I celebrated. 

Of course, at my office, our VP brings her dog to work almost every day so you might say it's always National Dog Day where we are. No one gets more love than Lola. 

RIGHT?! The face! Every day, that face. It's soul-crushingly adorable. 

But we did take a commemorative holiday selfie on Wednesday. Well I did. Lola wasn't really up for it. 

I have about 103 more photos of her but you can just follow my Instagram for more. She's the star of my feed. 

2. Buzzfeed finally did some justice to my future ex-husband, Matt Bomer, though I'm dubious about the article title: "A Gentle Reminder That Matt Bomer Can Get it." 

Get what?

GET IN MY PANTS. That's what. (Yeah, I really wrote that.)

3. Every time I think "Enough of you, ALS Ice Bucket Challenge," someone makes a perfect video and I get SUCKED RIGHT BACK IN! 

Behold, the Old Spice guy, Isaiah Mustafa:

 

BOULDERDASHERY! MOTHER OF PEARL! 

4. My friend Tim has a podcast on the Dan and Travis Network of Podcasts in which he interviews different people around Hollywood about their odd jobs. We all know what a director does... but do we really? I love the premise and I was honored to be interviewed in this week's episode. I dish a bit about "the biz" and even touch on the state of blogging. And while I hate listening to myself, I think it turned out rather well. Click here to have a listen. 

5. Ok, last one. This is special. Do you like scary movies? Or suspenseful thrillers? Demons and amazing effects? A friend of mine wrote a movie and then someone made it. I don't mean to make that sound so simple -- it is AMAZING. I am so excited for him. This trailer looks CRAZY! I'm pumped to see it and I am so excited he's letting me share it with you:

 

Smiles for everybody! Enjoy your holiday weekend. 

Lost And Found: Floppy Disks

Now in the full swing of packing (I'm doing pretty well!), I keep finding things I'd forgotten I had. You have to remember - not only have I lived in my apartment for more than 11 years, I've lived in this city for more than 30 (I went away to college so I suppose I can't count all of those years). I have a ton of shit. It's insane. 

I was really excited to uncover this treasure: 33 floppy disks and a very dusty external floppy drive. 

It took me about an hour to get that drive installed on my laptop. Apparently new laptops aren't built for those anymore. I had to do a little research and some black magic but after it was patched in, I proceeded to look through every. single. disk. 

Scripts, essays, poems, short stories, photos, games, websites, coding, graphics. Files created on software so old I may never be able to open them again. 

Here are the most amazing things I found, though. Some of these things are deeply personal and I would never likely share them but right now, I'm enjoying a little nostalgia afterglow. 

1. My writing. SO MUCH writing. I had a whole disk called "memoirs," filled with one or two page essays and reflections on my life dating back to 1996. I was 17!!! 

2. High School writing assignments. I have always written (no joke - I wrote a murder mystery "novel" in sixth grade) but it wasn't until my senior year of high school when I really figured out what to do. I have a brilliant teacher to thank for that. And it was a treat to read back over some of my papers from those days. 

3. College application materials. That was a pretty cool find. I didn't even know I'd saved that stuff. The naive idealism in those pages made me cringe a bit but I guess whatever facade of optimism and wisdom I presented worked. I went to pretty great schools. 

4. The OG Blog. When I created my very first personal website, circa 1998, in order to teach myself HTML and curry favor with a boy I liked, I picked a pretty stupid site name. I was really into the movie Grosse Point Blank, about a hitman who comes home for his high school reunion and my AIM screen name at the time, as a result, was GPHitman. Eventually I added a journal to the site - my very, very first BLOG. 

 

Fun fact - once I got really good at web design and coding, I ran a couple fan sites. Found those, too. Here's a screen-grab of my favorite one:

5. Daily Wildcat columns. I had a column in U of A's newspaper, The Daily Wildcat, called "Swimming With Sharks" (yes, after the Kevin Spacey movie), and I found all of my drafts, including the ones that were never published. WOW. At the top of the school year, 1998, I wrote an entire column about being an "old" virgin (yes, that's how it felt - even at 19). It was much how I write now - a thread of sarcasm ran throughout the piece. I was really proud of it, though, and was praised by everyone from my Editor to my mom for publishing it. AND THEN I GOT AMAZING HATE MAIL. Especially from religious groups on campus. I actually have all of that in a scrapbook somewhere (and like actual mail because the paper wouldn't publish most of them - they were pretty outrageous hand-written notes I received at my dorm). I felt I'd truly arrived as a writer. Hate mail can be empowering. 

6. Scripts. After I went to U of A, I transferred to NYU's Tisch School to major in screenwriting. And I found a ton of old scripts and outlines on my disks. And of all the things I wrote, my most treasured script is a very short one I wrote based on a short story I'd read and loved. This is the script I submitted with my application to transfer into the screenwriting program. You might say it's the one that dictated the course of the rest of my life. Even though I did not end up a screenwriter, moving to New York was the best thing I could have done for myself at the time. 

7. The thing I was up late writing on September 10, 2001. I fell asleep around 3 or 4 am on September 11. I woke up near noon that day. 

8. The thing I wrote on September 12, 2001.

* * *

If only I had a VCR. You wouldn't believe all of the VHS tapes I've held onto....

 

 

 

The Valley Finally Gets a Great Venue

You want to see shows here. Trust me.

Right? ... RIGHT? 

The Valley Performing Arts Center - here in SoCal; in Northridge - offers a vibrant and diverse performance lineup every season, and serves as the intellectual and cultural heart of the San Fernando Valley. The Valley Performing Arts Center (VPAC) at California State University, Northridge (CSUN - GO MATADORS!)  is known for its commitment to bringing engaging professional performances of the highest caliber to its exceptional venues.

Next month, VPAC will open its 2014-2015 season with comedy, Abbey Road, world famous acrobats, and a bit of Off-Broadway music and theatre. 

Family-friendly comedian Sinbad kicks off the season on Thursday, September 18; The Fab Faux, acclaimed musicians will play the entire Abbey Road album exactly as it was written on Saturday, September 20; the high-flying, National Acrobats of the People’s Republic of China: Cirque Peking will perform on Saturday, September 27; and the Off-Broadway sensation SITI Company, will combine theater, dance and the music of George and Ira Gershwin in its six-actor version of Café Variations, a theatrical  exploration of life, love and identity, on Tuesday, September 30. 

A trule incredible, varied calendar lies ahead but ever the Broadway buff am I, I am the most excited for an October show - Todd Ellison: Broadway's Greatest Hits. One of two musical extravaganzas this season starring music director Todd Ellison, this singing spectacular will feature famed Broadway singers Kate Shindle (former Miss America, Broadways "Cabaret", "Legally Blonde"), Jose Llana (Broadways "25th Annual Spelling Bee"), Kathryn Guthrie (NY City Opera), and Mike McGowan (Broadways "Priscilla Queen of the Desert"), a four-piece band and array of hits including songs from Wicked, Cats and Les Misérables.

Oh, I'm sorry. Did someone say Wicked? I'm obsessed. Remember this?

 

That's some pre-Frozen Idina for you, kids (Or Adele Dazeem if you're John Travolta). You're welcome.  

It's really special to have a venue like this in the San Fernando Valley. Truly. Take it from this valley native. Please keep supporting their events so that they may continue to provide us with amazing entertainment. It's convenient from the 101, 405 or 188, parking is just $6, and it's just a striking facility -- you have no excuse! I expect everyone in my area to check it out.

If you report back on it, so will I! 

For more information and tickets, visit valleyperformingartscenter.org or call the ticket office at (818) 677-3000.

And follow them on Facebook and Twitter! 

Disclosure: I am flattered VPAC offered me a pair of tickets to a show at their beauitful facility in gratitude for spreading the word about their upcoming season. So don't make me look bad, guys. Buy some tickets. ;) 

The 7 Stages of Waiting On Hold For the Los Angeles DWP

As I am now in the process of moving, there are boxes to pack, things to throw away, stuff to sell and, above all, PHONE CALLS. Just endless, endless phone calls. 

Cancelling this, activating that, arranging things.... I know everyone says moving sucks. I realize now how true it is. (I'm still excited but just.... PHONE CALLS!) 

I'm a good project manager and got right on it. I threw on the headset and prepared myself for copious hours of shitty hold music and inadequate customer service representatives. 

But in the end, nothing - NOTHING - could have prepared me for the Los Angeles Department of Water and Power. 

 

STAGE ONE: THE DIAL

At this point, it could still go well. This could very well be your lucky day! You might get through and find to your surprise there is very little hold time. BOOM! DONE! You are the QUEEN OF GETTIN' SHIT DONE. You are organized, you are STRONG! Suck it, naysayers. 

STAGE TWO: TALK TO THE VOICE

You really prefer to punch in your answers - one for "yes," two for "no" - because you're not in your own room right now and the last thing you need is everyone hearing you talk at the operator voice in the phone. But it's technology and stuff so you'll play along. Even if you have to repeat yourself a couple times.

It's okay, though, because you are totally awesome about STAYING CALM. 

STAGE THREE: NOT SO CALM NOW

You've recited your zip code at least three times and the voice tells you the hold time might be more than 30 minutes. Your blood boils but a few deep breaths later it's all good. There's no way it's really going to take 30 minutes. That's insane. That's forever. And this hold music is pretty terrible SO HELP ME GOD.... 

But no. It's fine. 

STAGE FOUR: 35 MINUTES ON HOLD

"Your call is very important to us. Please continue to hold; your call will be answered in the order it was received."

Fuck you.

"Your call may be recorded for quality assurance."

I hate you. 

STAGE FIVE: MY LIFE IS OVER

The world is a cold, dark place where there is only the toxic sound of soul-crushing hold muzak and the VOICE that occasionally chimes in with facts about the DWP and requests to keep holding. It tells you they have things on their website that can help. You check the website. There is nothing. You are stranded in the desert without water. With muzak. You will never hear anything else EVER AGAIN. 

 STAGE SIX: ONE HOUR ON HOLD, PRAYING FOR SWEET RELEASE 

Your cell battery is down to 30% and you're starting to panic that no one will EVER. PICK. UP. EVER. AGAIN. You will die on this hold, but that's okay because at least then it will be over. But it's been an HOUR and how much longer COULD IT POSSIBLY BE? Surely someone is about to pick up. Any second now. C'mon, guys.... 

Someone will tell you to give up. "Call back at an obscure hour." "Try again," they'll say.

DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND??? I CAN'T STOP NOW. I'VE INVESTED TOO MUCH OF MY TIME.

No going back.

STAGE SEVEN: GO TOWARD THE LIGHT

An hour and 47 minutes later... "Los Angeles DWP, thank you so much for holding, how may I help you today?"

No sentence has ever made you happier in your entire life. You can breathe again. You can feel feelings and sing songs. You will live to see another sunrise. 

And really, was it so bad? I mean, you put it on speaker and got lots of work done while you waited.... 

Tomorrow? The cable company.

Coming to LA Soon: Budweiser Made In America

Heads up, Los Angeles! When I was appraoched with this, as a city native, I had to share. 

What's everyone doing Labor Day Weekend? You have a week to plan. GO! 

This is the inaugural year of the Budweiser Made in America festival in LA, benefitting the United Way of Greater Los Angeles. What's more, Budweiser Made in America is the first American festival to run simultaneously on both coasts (also happening in Philly simultaneously). 

* * *

Lineup
Imagine Dragons, Kanye West, John Mayer, Steve Aoki, Juanes, Afrojack, Kendrick Lamar, Rise Against, Weezer, Sublime with Rome, Metric, Capital Cities, Chance the Rapper, Cypress Hill, Gareth Emery, R3HAB, Schoolboy Q, Wolfgang Gartner, Borgore, DVBBS, 12th Planet, YG, Mute Math, Rita Ora, Nipsey Hussle, Dr. Dog, Terraplane Sun, ZZ Ward, Classixx, Hit-Boy, DJ Mustard, Ab-Soul, Isaiah Rashad, Jay Rock, SZA, Yellow Claw, Grits & Biscuits, Will Sparks, Cut Snake, Scavenger Hunt, A Tribe Called Red

Cause Village Vendors
Shawn Carter Foundation, United Way, Headcount, Budweiser Veterans, Tyler Robinson Foundation (Imagine Dragons charity), Dogs without Border, Hire LA, Food Forward, United States Green Building Council, LIFT Los Angeles, Skid Row Housing, LA Street Car, LA Street Gallery

* * *

Plus, expect traditional festival and fair food to gourmet food trucks. I hope that means FUNNEL CAKE. Because reasons. 

Let's talk about Imagine Dragons for a moment, guys. They are AMAZING in concert. AH-MA-ZING. I saw them earlier this year at The Forum and was blown away. Don't even get me started on Kanye -- I've seen him as well. Guaranteed you will get a SHOW out of that man. 

You're getting a lot of music (with variety!) and a lot of fun for one price. You can buy two-day tix or one-day but seriously, make a weekend out of it if you attend at all. It's the first time they're here and we want them to COME BACK. 

• 2-Day Tix for LA: Click here
• Single-day ticket, 8/30: Click here
• Single-day ticket, 8/31: Click here

More than 4- performances on three stages. Incredicle. Jay-Z, Budwesier, you RULE. Come back next year. And if I may, two words for you: BOY BANDS. I'm just gonna let that idea percolate in your minds. (Note: Justin Timberlake counts.)

 

WHO ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING THE MOSTEST? 

Disclosure: This is a sponsored post

A Particularly Legendary #Menday

SPOILER ALERT! 

Seriously, if you haven't caught the pilot episode of TNT's "Legends" yet, don't read this post. Put the link to it in your pocket or Evernote -- whatever "read this later because IT IS SUPER IMPORTANT" app you use. 

I am rather taken with TNT's new drama, "Legends." But I was dismayed that one of my favorite character actors didn't make it past the pilot episode. Alas. 

A fine Menday-hello to Brad William Henke. If you are not watching "Legends," (FOR SHAME!) you may reocgnize him from a number of film and TV appearances, i.e. Pacific Rim, "Castle," "Grimm," "Justified," "Lost" or "Dexdter."

Now I must confess - I got called out. Sometimes I forget, depsite the obvious title of my blog, that I am a plus size blogger. It's just not always what I write about but yes, it's there, in the back of my mind, from time to time. And it was pointed out to me that of all the many, many Mendays, I've not once included a bigger gentleman. 

It's a fair point. While it's true I'm attracted to the nerd icons the most (Tom Hiddleston, Michael Fassbender) I'm always plugging "equal opportunity" for us big girls and as hard as we have it or think we have it, I have to wonder if plus size guys have it harder. Because when I went to google "plus size actors," models, men, etc., it was really hard to find them. I guess it's pretty hard to be a leading man in Hollywood when you're big. 

Plus size actresses' names come to my mind with ease. Melissa McCarthy, Queen Latifah, Kathy Najimy, Gabourey Sidibe... But thinking of gentlemen was harder.

So I thought my friend had a valid point but I got frustrated googling it and it kind of left my mind almost as soon as it entered.

But then I was watching the pilot for "Legends" and  thought Brad William Henke was killing it. 

Look, I don't know if he's a "plus size" actor or not. I don't know if I'm a position to make that determination. The industry definition of "plus size" begins at size 12 for women, which is atrocious to me, so who knows. But I guess here is what it comes down to -- when I was watching him on the show, he was hot as all get out and I was in. Talent is dead sexy but the smoldering gaze and those crystal clear eyes of his don't hurt either. 

And all I wanna do right now is run my fingers through his hair.