I'm gonna ask you all to indulge me in some vanity, guys.
To celebrate America's independence this year, I decided I would wear a bathing suit. In public. Well, among friends in public. I've dropped some weight and I asked myself, what was the point of working this hard if I didn't get to do things I wouldn't allow myself to do before?
And what's more, I'm gonna post a picture!
The headband's amazing, right? I got it for like $3 at H&M in June just to break out for this party.
Irrelevant fun fact: The temporary flash tat peeking out on my left arm took ten days to come off. Let that be a warning to you all. Also, NEVER put those things where you have body hair.... OUCH. But I digress.
I'm gonna be honest with you here, I'm pretty pleased with how I look in that photo.
I have to say that out loud because I've lost a substantial amount of weight but I really struggle to literally see it when I look in the mirror. In the mirror, I just see.... ME. I see how I picture myself in my mind. When I do recognize it, it's in a photo or in a side-by-side/before-and-after image kind of thing.
Anyway, it took several online purchases and a couple trips to the mall, but I eventually found something I didn't feel like a whale in. For what it's worth, what I ended up with came from Lane Bryant's swim separates -- it's a tankini top and a skirted short bottom. The key was having the built-in bra, even though it was a huge pain to put on a take off, especially once I was wet, and also having an oversized cover-up on (a kimono jacket I got from Nordstrom a couple years ago) to hang out in.
I was empowered by this step. I could not have predicted the effect it would have on me. I was not prepared for how comfortable I'd feel in my own skin. Which is weird for being in a small piece of clothing that I hadn't donned in several years, right? But it was liberating.
So I guess really, in honor of America's independence, in a way, I was also celebrating my own.
