CONFESSIONS OF A FAT GIRL

And We're Walking...

It was well over a year ago when I made a feeble attempt at a walking regiment. I failed. I actually remember quite clearly waking up the following morning and falling over. And actually crawling to the shower, which was humiliating even though I was alone. 

I have had posterior tibial tendonitis for years now and at this point, I don't really remember the last time I walked without pain. In truth, even when I am just sitting, I am aware of my ankle hurting. It's so much a part of me now that I am just used to it being that way.

So it's sort of ironic that I confess to you:  One thing I've always wanted to try is running. I feel like it would be an easy thing to be good at and to love. A TON of my friends do it. My roommate does it almost every night. I admit that I fantasize about what my running playlist would be and breaking in some tennis shoes. 

I'm crazy. 

But I'm living part of the dream. Some of my friends who DO run, have rallied around me and one night a week, we've started walking. We've done as many as four miles. I find the more I do it, the more I can just tune out whatever pain I'm having -- also, they slow down when I need them to. And, really, for me?The best part is the conversation. 

The time flies and I don't even realize it's been 90 minutes or whatever. 

I will keep saying it:  I am so lucky to have some pretty amazing friends. 

 

 

Fun Theory

I saw this over at Zak's blog and loved the idea of it so much - I had to share this:

And what about you? What do you do to make exercise fun? I ask cause it would benefit me to know some way how.... LOL.

Day 4

Nanoblopomo... Why am I doing this to myself?! LOL. I have pledged to write an entry every day for the next month.

BTW, those of you who tease me for being a blogger-slacker, you may shut it now.

And when was the last time I wrote anything of substance anyway? So if this makes me pay attention...

The diet... or rather, the eating healthy and exercising... The eating healthy I can manage so long as I put my mind to it. And often, I know I don't. But due to my ankle problem (I have posterior tibial tendonitis), the physical activity has been frustrating.

A friend came over one night to take me walking and it was actually a lot of fun. We talked and joked which made the time go by faster. And I couldn't always keep up with the pace but I made it with some success and felt sorta proud. When we got home, I propped up my foot and iced it and felt pretty sure I was okay.

The next morning, I got out of bed and fell over. I was completely unable to walk on my right foot. It was awful. I crawled to the shower like a moron. I used a cane for support for the next few days. More than anything, I was just really pissed off.

And frankly, it still hurts more than it should.

It HAD to be the right foot, by the way. Traffic is murder on me these days. So much pedal shifting. Thanks, Los Angeles!

You know, if anyone out there has some experience with this, I'd love to hear it. If anyone can suggest an exercise that is low-impact on the feet/ankles and won't leave me looking like one of those women with a skinny top and gigantic bottom (pear shape!), that's be fab.

The Dirtiest Exercise Tool

Well, now I've seen everything. Is anyone else totally amused by this exercise tool?

Seriously, just watch: https://www.shakeweight.org/

Thank you, Renita, for bringing this disturbing item to my attention.

The Old Lady

Earlier today I told some friends "there is nothing like moving to make you realize how totally out of shape you are."

Christ, a couple times up and down those stairs and I undeniably HURT. Which is sad. In fact, I am a little worried about my poor body-- I left the movers over and hour ago and my hips hurt so badly right now, my thighs are trembling (insert comeback here).

To celebrate my achy body, I am eating a 3pm lunch and sitting on the couch. Clearly my worry for my aching joints has not motivated me to MOVE or be HEALTHY. Whoops.

Had a rather marvelous weekend, though. Saw a play Friday night and some friends at a party following (where I did NOT drink- go me). Participated in a member training event for the youth group and loved that....

I'm fighting off the urge to nap right now because I want to sleep well tonight but I'm thinking perhaps an hour of snoozing would do me well.

Nifty Little Gizmo

Thanks to my friend Jen for this -- I thought it was a pretty cool gadget and wanted to pass it on:

Fit but You Know It
Your New Fitness Tracking Device

Sure, you put in your gym time, and pay close attention to the food groups. (Pretty sure there are four—sushi, kobe, soymilk, vodka.)

Still, life in Los Angeles requires you to track your fitness more closely...or find a gadget that'll do it all for you. Which is why you'll want to pre-order your Fitbit now.

Just drop the small gadget in your pants pocket, and as you go about your day, Fitbit uses motion-sensing technology (similar to how the Wii knows you're swinging the non-existent tennis racket) to gauge every calorie you burn. It'll note your accomplishments when you're on the treadmill, getting numbers on Runyon Canyon, moving your martini glass to and from your mouth...and engaging in other vigorous endeavors that, assuming your pants remain at least partially on, will remain between you, your partner and Fitbit.

Every time you pass within 25 feet of the charger base station, Fitbit automatically transmits its data and uploads it to your website, where you can also enter every calorie consumed. So you can either obsessively track every flow chart online, or just occasionally take a look at the gadget's avatar—if the little plant is growing, well done. If it's wilting, well, might be time for some more vigorous endeavors.

Sometimes your health requires these kinds of sacrifices.

More here, including purchase: http://www.fitbit.com/

Out of Shape, Out of Motivation

How is everyone's weekend?

I spent the week looking forward to my weekend but I'm afraid it's not at all going according to plan. I guess that's not so bad because ultimately, I was (am) able to spend the whole weekend being lazy, if not asleep...

Anyway, Thursday night I was at a wrap party for the CBS reality show "Big Brother" (at left: me and my friend Matthew in the BB Diary Room) and it was FANTASTIC! God, I've been such a social hermit lately and it felt good to be OUT and dressed up a little, dancing and seeing friends I've not seen in a while. I indulged in the buffet-- actually, I didn't eat anything particularly bad for me except I did have some pasta and a couple beers. Luckily, I kept getting distracted before I could remember to check out the ice cream sundae station or the s'mores. I did bite into a churro but it was stale... Am I rambling? ...But the dancing was great fun and probably good exercise. I was really just elated to be out. I stayed out til 3am.

So it was no surprise that I was a zombie on Friday at the office. Man, my body HURT. I did CPR training at the office on Thursday - I was on my knees, bent over a mannequin all day there (insert dirty joke here) and then dancing Thursday night... On Friday, my legs felt like jello. I could barely cross the street to get into my dad's car when he picked me up to go to lunch.

I don't know... is it my weight? A little, of course. But I am just SO out of shape. I'm a walking puzzle- overweight, in great health, and out of shape. {sigh}

So I cancelled my Friday night plans knowing that I'd be miserable anywhere else but in bed and went to bed early instead. It was a little depressing but I was too tired to care that much about it. Of course, this also had me up early on Saturday, which annoyed me.

By this afternoon, my still achy body needed to sleep again but that got put off when my parents called. I'll spare you the details but our friendly chat turned into a fight. To be honest and fair, it was not their fault. I was crabby and feeling a little gloomy so I snapped at something my mom said. She handed the phone off to my dad and he gave me an earful. I tried to apologize and they eventually accepted. But by the time I got off the phone, I was REALLY in need of a lay-down. I passed out.

And that pretty much brings us current. I was supposed to meet a friend at 8 to go out but didn't wake up til about 7:45. Christ! So, groggy, I called him and apologized, cancelled MORE of my weekend plans and have spent another night in front of the TV.

I bet you're all jubilant after reading this delightful recounting of my weekend activities...

C'est la vie, oui?

Hooked on a Feeling

I just got home from karate class and I gotta say, I feel rather marvelous. My mind is clear and though my body aches a bit (and will probably hurt more tomorrow), I feel sort of tingly and pretty alive.

I woke up last night, about 2am, experiencing a horrible panic attack. I was sweating and nervous... I'd almost say I was scared, though I am not sure of what. My mind was racing and my eyes were just WIDE open and for the life of me, I could not imagine going back to sleep. Just thoughts of all these things stressing me out were racing through my head.

My thesis. Well, it's due in a week. I am not really near done but I know that if history is any indication, I will put it off to the last minute and somehow manage a good grade. I worry about it a little here and there but really, not as much as I should be worrying, I guess.

My finances. I always worry about this. Even when I am at my most calm, somewhere in the back of my mind, I am worrying about my wretched financial situation. But it can't get worse and right now, at this precise moment anyway, I am worrying less about that and more about what's going to happen on the show I am watching. :)

My job. Well, the work is good, the boss still has her good days and bad, and I am going nowhere. It's ridiculous. I would say it is unreasonable for me to want a promotion before my two year mark but I know that I am already doing the higher-up job and not being paid the higher-up salary. And when I think I am getting close? The rug gets pulled out.

My diet. Well, it goes without saying-- this could be better. But I am loaded up on leftover chicken from my weekend (I threw a bridal shower) so I will, at least, eat a healthy lunch each day this week. I'm aiming for it.

Not a whole lot else to say, I suppose. Just feeling so good post-class, I wanted to say hello.