CONFESSIONS OF A FAT GIRL

2017: The Year of NO

I'll let you all in on something I've learned over the years - and it took a lot of 'em. NO is a great word; NO is not a negative word. It is, in fact, one of the most empowering words in the English language. 

While the literal definition of "no" is to reject, deny and turn down, I prefer to think of it as a means to opening yourself up to MORE. Too often we say YES to things we can't afford -- either with our finances or out time. When you stop saying no, you risk taking on more than you can handle. What happens then? You might get everything done but it won't be at a high standard of execution or effort. Or, you might not get everything done at all. You let people down. You let yourself down. And sometimes, frankly, it leads to more work upon work, when in your guilt you feel like you have to make up for what's happened. 

At a base level, consider that when you over-commit yourself, you're also often depriving yourself of rest and sleep. Even meals. You end up sick more often. 

You're never home. This makes you feel restless. And, in a way, isolated. Home is where you go to recharge. Home is sanctuary. 

You become a terminable people-pleaser. Your personal projects and goals fall by the wayside. (And you should never feel like making time for your own stuff is selfish!)

Passion also falls by the wayside. How can you be passionate about a million things? We'd all spontaneously combust. You become the person just trying to stay afloat instead of the person kicking ass. I argue that it's better to find a just a few things you're excited and passionate about and do them really well. From a business perspective, you want to be an expert in a niche. No one can be an expert at everything. (And hey, no one likes that guy anyway, right?)

The word NO takes courage. It means owning who you are and what you want and need. It shields us from being taken advantage of. Sometimes, it's all there is to protect us from our own kindness. YES is good, too. Yes supports opening yourself up to new things and being helpful but there's a time and a place for it. I completely understand everyone out there having their years of yes but in 2017, I'll be over here having a Year of NO. Because I think saying NO sets us free.

If you'd like to join me in the Year of NO, I've set up a private Facebook group where we can all hold each other up as we learn to acknowledge that NO is power. Please leave a comment below and include your email address.

The Strange Secret I've Been Living With For Half a Year

IMPORTANT DISCLOSURE: I AM NOT A DOCTOR. NOT EVEN CLOSE. So PLEASE, if you think you have any kind of health issue, please consult a physician. Please do not read this and panic that you have some terrible disease. Please do not read this and get mad at me. I am sharing this story because I've been ashamed to do so until now and I suddenly realized - there may be other women out there ashamed and in truth, THERE IS NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF. 

This is important, otherwise I wouldn't dare use such a click-baity headline. 

When I think about how this all began, I actually can't seem to pinpoint a start date. But I do know for certain that by mid-April, I was battling a serious bladder infection or UTI or something that was making me very uncomfortable and causing me to pee incessantly. There wasn't always burning but there was sometimes. There was definitely a lot of pressure on my abdomen. And there was inconsistency -- sometimes I would have no problem going, sometimes I would sit down and it would take 30 minutes or more to get it all out. 

I promise you I am not exaggerating -- I was waking up to go to the bathroom four or five times a night. Sometimes I would put off going to sleep because I knew I'd be up in an hour anyway, so despondent, I would take my iPad into the bathroom with me and sit on the toilet where I'd pee two or three times in an hour, and then I'd go to bed. Sometimes that would buy me a straight three hours of sleep. But you can't imagine how exhausted this was making me. And at the time, I was unemployed, so keeping myself not tired and active was a challenge to begin with. 

The unemployment also meant I had no health insurance. I was in the process of trying to get "Obamacare" but omigod what a pain in the ass that is -- it was not moving along at the pace I needed it to (I got laid off like four days after the open enrollment deadline, of course). So my doctor prescribed medicine - I went through three rounds of different antibiotics. 

Nothing was fixing anything and I knew something was wrong. More than just a bladder infection. And Web MD was not my friend, of course. Web MD told me I either had bladder cancer or was in the early stages of menopause. They should take Web MD away from me. One of my doctors once told me "sure, keep using it and coming in here with problems. You'll end up paying for my next vacation." Point taken. 

At the end of April, just before I was to begin my new job, I took a trip to New York. I spent much of that trip planning my activities according to where I'd be able to find a bathroom. For example instead of strolling the city or enjoying an iced tea in Rockefeller Center while I window shopped as I would normally do on a New York trip, I took Taxis to a few places I had to visit and then would pray I could wait out the train ride back to where I was staying. 

Because of my weight, I was instantly concerned I had become diabetic, but I did get tested and that was not the case. The same doctor who tested me for Diabetes, by the way, told me I was fine and probably "just one of those women who pees a lot."

This did not sit well with me. Mostly because he was a prick but also because, quite frankly, I have never been one of "those women." I can hold it like a champ. I can. I attribute this to a position I had out of college where I needed to find someone to watch the phones when I had to use the restroom. Sometimes this meant waiting a little while and boy did I learn to use those muscles. 

So now I was at my new job and it was great -- except I was peeing every 30 minutes and I was still exhausted and simply could not take it anymore. 

I cut back on caffeine, then I cut it out entirely. You can imagine how pleasant that made me to be around in the mornings. I also cut out alcohol. Eventually, I wasn't drinking much of anything because I was just always afraid I'd have to pee. So I was also always thirsty and dehydrated. When none of that made a difference, I just gave up and drank whatever. But one day I had a single margarita at a family gathering and spent the next day paying a huge price for it. I peed all day long and I was with family. It was humiliating to have to keep excusing myself. 

Luckily, a blogger I've become friends with also happens to be a wonderful nurse with a specialty in this area. And on a Sunday morning, she was incredibly generous with her time, letting me call her and tell her my story and giving me some good advice. The best of it was to find a Urogynecologist. You can probably guess what that is but just in case -- that's a doctor who practices both gynecology and urology.

Easier said than done. While I finally had a job, I had to wait it out for the insurance to kick in. Was this the smartest thing to do? Absolutely not. You shouldn't mess around with anything relating to health, of course, and I do not condone that. But in my mind, I had Cancer and I didn't want to find that out while I didn't have insurance. (Look, I'm a crazy hypochondriac, ok? I admit that.) In my exhausted, frustrated state, this made sense to me as the best thing to do at the time. 

July 1 was practically a holiday. I was never this excited to see a doctor, I assure you. She was/is wonderful but it still took her a month to figure out what was wrong with me. 

WHAT IS UREAPLASMA?

Well, I can tell you this. It's a rare bacteria that is very tiny and very hard to diagnose. Which is why it took the good doctor a month to nail it down. For starters, after they take your urine sample (via catheter and THAT SUCKS), it takes two weeks to get the results. But then, I guess it's just so rare and hard to diagnose that so be sure, the doctor insisted on a second test (yes, another catheter - HORRIBLE). But there it finally was. Ureaplasma. 

Here is the WORST thing you can do when you get a medical diagnosis. GOOGLE IT. Don't do it. I know you're going to ignore me and do it anyway (as will I), but for the love of God, save yourself the strife and confusion. Ask the doctor a lot of questions and don't worry about feeling foolish. This is what you pay them for, right? 

That said, I did eventually find one wonderful article about Ureaplasma that brought me a lot of comfort. Read it here on Jezebel.

WHAT UREAPLASMA IS NOT

It is not Chlamydia or Gonorrhea. Those are other bacterial infections but we all know how we get those, right? RIGHT? And here's something I'll admit to you right now to even further clear that up: I am not presently sexually active. I'm not saying I'm happy about it, but there you have it. So I was never concerned about that anyway. But when you google Ureaplasma, it's very hard to figure out what the causes are and many doctors have chalked it up to being somewhere in the STD family. The truth is, you could live with Ureaplasma cells your entire life and never experience symptoms. But if you're someone like me who has had a bevvy of other female-related issues, you may not have the physical or immuno-resistance to keep this bacteria from growing. My luck finally ran out and there I was. A one-woman pee factory.

Sometimes shit just happens. Or in this case, pee. (You're welcome.) 

TREATMENT

While we waited for the first test results to return, my doctor put me on Uribel. This was supposed to relieve some of the pressure on my bladder and hopefully, let me sleep through a night or two It also turned my pee BRIGHT BLUE. Sadly, it was not effective. Except at making me giggle like an eight year old every time I saw neon blue pee in the toilet. Because. 

When my first culture came back, like I said, the doctor actually doubted I actually had Ureaplasma, so she put me on a medication for Overactive Bladder called Myrbetriq. So convinced was she that my round two would not come back positive that she gave me a full month's worth of the Myrbetriq. But of course this pill did absolutely nothing for me. In fact, I swear I was peeing even more on it. But that could very well be in my head. 

Finally, there was the indisputable truth. Ureaplasma. And then, a prescription for a very high dose of Doxycycline. Fun fact about Doxycycline - it can be used to prevent malaria, treat Anthrax or Lyme Disease. Right now I am taking it twice a day and it makes me REALLY nauseous. It's easier if I take it with food, though, which I do more often than not, even though the pharmacist told me to take it on an empty stomach for maximum absorption. I am on this stuff for a total of two weeks though I could potentially have to do two more. But the GREAT news is, Ureaplasma is treatable and curable. (I seriously cannot wait to be a normal human again. Peeing a lot is really super annoying, guys. Hats off, pregnant women. How do you do this?)

Most of the time, I feel like the Doxy is working. Like the other morning I woke up for the first time in AGES and didn't feel an urgent need to go to the bathroom. In fact, I rolled over and went back to sleep for two hours and it was GLORIOUS. Last week I went to New York for work and was able to survive both plane trips without needing to go. But I've still had a couple nights where I've been up a few times and that never gets easier. I have to believe that will go away soon. I'm still pretty weary and basically praying to any God listening for uninterrupted sleep.

WHAT I LEARNED

1. Do not use WebMD. If you want to look up medical information, use something less showy, won't you? Try the Mayo Clinic's website. But really, just call your doctor. Call a pharmacist. Call your mom. 
2. No one knows your body better than you do. Remember that when some schmucky doctor is saying "you just pee a lot." 
3. There is no price cap on peace of mind. 
4. Don't be embarrassed. Everyone has a "thing" they think they should keep a secret -- it's amazing once you start telling that secret how many people step up with their own secrets.

I think this might have been even harder on me did I not have such wonderful people around me. My mom let me whine and bitch and moan about all of this to her endlessly, god bless her. My blogger/nurse friend brought me back from the brink that Sunday morning I broke down and called her. My new co-workers actually got to (!) hear about this on a regular basis and never ever made me feel ridiculous for it (this is also how I knew I was working with amazing women). To all of these people, and even my friends I chose to hide this from but supported me without realizing it, I thank you.

This was so hard to write so thanks to all of you, too, for reading it. 

Getting Serious About Health Care

I'm not technically a milennial but I'm only a couple years removed. I certainly identify with many of the challenges facing their generation. I mention this because they are the most financually burdened generation. And I just read that 72% essentially do not know how to gauge what health care costs. 46% are not prepared to pay out-of-pocket health-related expenses. 

In fact, the 2014 Aflac WorkForces Report found that only 15% of millennial workers agree that managing health care expenses is an important part of their financial plan, and 19% say they don’t consider health care expenses a part of a financial plan at all. 

SAY WHAT?! 

I was talking about health insurance with friends yesterday at brunch and I couldn't help but think about what an overwhelming thing it is. How many of us have stared at those forms? When I begin any job, I put a lot of effort into prcrastinating those forms. Inevitably I have to call one or more relatives for help. 

 

Here are the conclusions I've come to, though, about health care; about signing up for health care.

• Don't mess around. Is there anything more worth investing in than your health? 
• Pay the bills. Because you want those guys on your side. 
• To that end, SAVE. Keep money aside for medical expenses. Better yet, for emergencies. You could be one emergency away from financial disaster.
• Ask lots of questions. Research never hurts. Be informed. 
• Bundle your insurance policies if you can. For example, Aflac offers accident, dental, life, vision, cancer, hospital intensive care and more voluntary insurance policies.

• Think of health insurance premiums as a monthly budget essential like rent, rather than a discretionary expense, like entertainment. 

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  Educate yourself about how your insurance deductible works. Choosing a plan with a low monthly premium and a high deductible may give you more money in your paycheck, but could also result in unaffordable payments if you need medical care beyond covered preventive services.
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  f your company offers a health savings account as part of a high deductible health plan, contribute as much as the plan allows so you’ll have money set aside to help meet the deductible and other payments. (This is a hard decision to make when you live paycheck to paycheck. But you'll be glad you did later.)

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  Consider adding voluntary insurance products for more financial protection. Accident and Critical Illness plans work hand-in-hand with major medical plans, providing benefits to help policyholders with health-related costs their primary insurance may not cover. Those policies can also be used to help with out-of-pocket costs and other expenses that continue to roll in even if you’re too ill or injured to work.

I was selected for this opportunity as a member of Clever Girls Collective and the content and opinions expressed here are all my own.

Drink it up -- Water is Nature's Cure

Water, water, water. How did someone as terrible about drinking water as I am become the water blogger? But I suppose that's why I've developed this fascination with the industry... Always trynig to find a way to drink more. Or motivate myself to drink more. 

I think what I - and others - forget is that aside from quenching your thirst, drinking the right amount of water can benefit your overall health in countless other ways. From aiding weight loss to boosting productivity. When I am ignoring my water intake, my skin gets dry and my hair starts to get flakier (and so now, even my hair stylist harasses me to drink more water). 

Here's a look at how water can serve us all!  

Source: Master-of-Health-Administration.com

What's the Juice on Juice?

Well, recently, I had a little kidney infection (which means I was walking like a hunched over old lady and moaning in pain like the proud martyr I am). 

And I was reaching for the cranberry juice. I mean, it's what you do, right? Bladder infection, Kidney infection -- we always reach for cranberry juice.

But while spending time with friends, one of them suggested to me it may not be as healthy as I thought. The sugar overload I was getting from the juice was probably doing more harm than good in the quantities I was consuming it. 

So when I got this infographic on Friday, I was like "hell yes I'll post it!"

credit: www.pritikin.com

Always Look at the Brighter Side of Life

I must admit, I've been slacking on my "34 in 2013" list and actually, I'm pretty upset about it. After failing to do so many things last year, I entered this year with the best and most earnest of intentions, determined to conquer each task and have a completed list by December 31.

What can I say? Life gets in the way. So do finances. Or lack of. 

But next year, I am thinking a shorter list is the way to go. Maybe one item per month. We'll see. 

One of my line-items on the list is "Be kinder to my skin and teeth." I've actually succeeded at both but am aggravated because despite being more diligent about skin care, find that my skin is actually the most broken out its ever been. Luckily, my teeth are in fine shape thanks to more flossing and more thorough brushing; more frequent dentist visits. 

And I happened to learn about Brighter.com. Their service was created to give its members the most information possible to make an educated decision on their dental care. Users can look at the price comparisons between dentists as well as their yelp reviews, credentials, images and videos, and also schedule their appointments right there on the site.

Brighter.com has partnered with over 500 dentists in Los Angeles County, and has worked (much like insurance companies do) to pre-negotiate the prices of over 400 procedures so that when members book through Brighter, they save an average of 50% on any procedure (up to 70% on preventive procedures like cleanings). Membership is free. Brighter.com covers everything from preventive care to restorative work to cosmetic procedures (including procedures that insurance does not cover like braces and whitening).

47% of Los Angeles residents lack public or private dental insurance (that’s three times as many people without healthcare insurance)—that’s 4.7 million people without dental coverage. 57% of LA residents without dental insurance currently seek no preventive care at all and 17% have been to the dentist only once or not at all in the past 10 years. Astounding statistics. 

So if you don't have dental insurance (hell, even if you do), this is a FREE, SIMPLE way to investigate what's available to you. It's a way to get the best quality out there for the lowest price possible. A win-win. Darest I say -- an online, present-day "1 800 Dentist," right? (I'm dating myself!) 

And because, as you well know, my fine, feathered friends, I am nothing if not a giver, and because the incentive behind my better teeth-care goal is actually whiter teeth, I found this list of foods that help with that ambition and wanted to share:

• Crunchy fruits and veggies. They function as scrub brush for your teeth, and also stimulate saliva that helps plaque from forming.
• Oranges and pineapples. Their acid may help to whiten and brighten the surface of the teeth, and also contain enzymes that kill bacteria that cause tooth decay and bad breath.
• Strawberries. They contain an enzyme called malic acid that can help whiten teeth.
• Dairy products like yogurt, milk or hard cheeses. Dairy is loaded with calcium which guards and strengthens bone that holds teeth in place and they can help protect teeth against decay. 
• Obviously, you also want to avoid thing that can stain your teeth - coffee, soda, soy sauce and tobacco to name a few. 

God speed and floss on. Let me know if you give Brighter.com a try. You can also find them on Facebook, Pinterest and Twitter. I particularly enjoy their "animal smiles" pin board. Too cute! 

"The Big Conversation"

As I said to the publicist who pitched this to me, I don't normally post things like this. This isn't really a celebrity focused blog and I don't usually provide coverage to the entertainment indsutry in this way. 

What I do cover, though, are things that are personal to me so I had no problem making an exception for this. And I love Victor Garber ("Alias," Argo, First Wives Club). 

On tomorrow’s episode of the nationally syndicated daytime talk show "Katie," Garber shares his family story of losing both parents to Alzheimer’s and addresses whether he will be tested for the gene.  It's a really scary thought, isn't it? What would you do? Would you want to know?

I can only stand to consider it for mere moments. 

 

"Katie" airs in national syndication. Visit KatieCouric.com/stationfinder or check your local listings for times and channels.

 

No, really - @StopHiccupsNow! This is a real blog entry!

Coming down with a case of the hiccups can be one of life's biggest annoyances and I come down with the hiccups often. I think there was a month in college where I pretty much hiccuped ALL. MONTH. I’ve even asked my doctor how to stop them.

So some people have told me to suck on a sugar cube and some people wanna scare the shit ouf of you – nothing works for me. Once I get them, it’s a chronic nuisance.

And of all the random pitches sent to my inbox since I’ve had this blog, none got my attention as quickly as the one for Hicural, an over-the-counter effective hiccup cure.

Of course, once I got the item in my hands, I only had to wait for the hiccups to come! And then, of course, they didn’t. For two weeks. For three weeks. I was so annoyed! Surely the cure was not just to POSESS the Hicural. Of all the times for them to NOT hit me… Ridiculous.

Mind you, I could have given one of YOU the Hicural, but come on. Giveaways have never been a hit on here and frankly, I wanted this.

The research: Hicural is a simple tool made from a polypropylene compound, providing relief in just a few seconds. Simply place the tool in your mouth, bite down, enjoy a nice glass of water and voila! Your hiccups are going, going, GONE! Having even been addressed by health expert Dr. Oz and other television personalities such as Kelly Ripa, hiccups are anything but uncommon; but just because they're a common occurrence doesn’t mean you have to deal with them! 

And then this morning, a miracle – I got the hiccups (well normally, this is like an every day occurrence for me, but like I said - it’s now been three weeks since I got the Hicural and BAM! Nothing). And I put the gizmo in my mouth and despite feeling like a moron, IT WORKED.

No joking, people. It worked. I’m not saying it wasn’t all in my head but DO I CARE? NO. Because I cured my hiccups. And I’m telling you, this has never happened before.

The Hicural now lives in my purse. 

And they lived happily ever after.